The millennials are a wonderful generation! We are go-getters who pursue their passions unabashedly. We live in changing times that every time there is an upgrade we feel restless if we haven’t owned it. Upgrades have become the most spoken word in our lives and have affected everything from the technology we use to the people we date.
We can handle pretty much anything but the ability to form lasting relationships seem to be eluding us with each passing day. Dating and marriage have undergone tremendous changes since the time of the baby boomers. Studies have proven that blaming the current generation for failing standards is not the only reason behind fragile modern relationships. Here are 5 significant reasons why our relationships are falling apart so easily.
1. Rise In Instant Gratification
In our pursuit of making life easy, we have become exclusively fond of anything that’s served fast to us. From the way we get our coffees to the way we book a cab, everything is available for us at a click/swipe away. This has drastically reduced our patience and tolerance levels. People today are not exactly looking for love but maybe someone who can make them feel good for a while. Every relationship transcends the initial adrenaline rush to reach a point of tranquil love and this phase is what most of us hate. We are looking for thrill and excitement in between sheets and day-to-day conversations. Many are unaware that any happy and successful relationship needs the effort to keep it thriving. The effort is what we don’t invest in because even without trying to make it work we’ve already started looking out.
2. Codependency With Technology
Almost all of us suffer from two basic fears with regards to technology, FOMO (fear of missing out) and nomophobia. Our smartphones have encroached into the most intimate areas of our lives so much so that, researchers have found that they have had a negative influence on many relationships. The internet has made everything and everyone available to us so easily that dating apps and social media sites have literally destroyed old-school relationship morals. We are constantly in touch with many people instead of one wonderful person. We associate having a massive number of friends and followers online as a matter of pride. We feel left out when we don’t have what many are have including relationships, merely because we can’t flaunt it online.1
3. Failing Relationship Goals And Role Models
Mainstream media’s voyeuristic approach largely covers the personal lives of celebrities more than their professional lives. Celebrity break-ups and cheating scandals get more attention than pressing issues in the society. Irresponsible media coverage influences immature minds to think that all are failing in their relationships hence it’s cool to have multiple mates and short-term relationships.2 Studies claim that individuals who were raised in broken families or by parents who were constantly bickering with each other also have a negative approach to relationships.3
4. Fear Of Vulnerability
The single most important key to a lasting relationship is vulnerability. When we are vulnerable with each other, we bare our defenses and begin to love one another unconditionally. When we resist vulnerability by being emotionally guarded, we hide our capacity to give or receive love fully. In a relationship with vulnerability we can bare our soul without the fear of being judged. The ignorant think that vulnerability is a weakness but only the wise know that being vulnerable is true courage and the only way to give a chance for lasting love.
5. Excessive Sexual Liberation
We have become an amusing generation that values being sexually active for fun more than being physically active for health. The sexual liberation has led to sexual degradation, where all we need to jump in the bed with someone is a flirty text message or a pick-up line. Especially, the recent times have become so stressful to be someone without a date on a Saturday night. Relationships have been designed for convenience and revolve around action and exhilaration. Nowadays, open relationships, no-strings-attached ones, and one-night stands are so rampant. This is mainly because we want multiple and spontaneous gratifications with minimum drama at the risk of our emotional and physical well-being.
The dating arena today is a scary place to be, especially because of the commitment-phobic ones. They yell from the top of their voices that true love is dead. The actions of a commitment-phobic majority are suppressing the morale of hopeful few. Lasting love in both professional and personal relationships require a whole lot of time and effort to develop. The apathy towards letting love grow in its own sweet time is the main reason why modern relationships are fragile today.