Ever get that feeling like someone just punched you in the gut? Well, if you’ve ever been rejected, you know exactly what feeling I’m talking about.
All of a sudden it’s like someone knocked the wind out of you, making you fall to your knees thinking, “I did NOT expect that.” And slowly but surely a lot of other voices start creeping in…
- “You’re not good enough”
- “Why did you think you’d get that job?”
- “You thought HE would like YOU?”
- “You’re such a loser!”
One hard punch after another … bruises lasting days, even weeks … maybe months.
So Why Does Rejection Hurt So Bad?
Well to understand this, we first have to understand who’s leading the emotions here … your Ego.
Your Ego is that voice in the back of your head that always makes you second doubt yourself. That voice that will tell you to not take risks, not go after your dreams and not think too highly of your abilities.
The voice that will tell you that you need that one extra drink or cookie to feel better. It’s the voice that sometimes can feel like your worst enemy, whispering hurtful self-criticism in your ear.
Your Self on the other hand, meaning your True Self, is just that – the voice of truth. The voice that believes in you and your dreams and desires. The voice that knows you are just as powerful and capable as all those people you envy and dream about being.
This is the voice that will lead you down paths that are in your highest good and knows you are the ultimate creator. Now it might seem like the Ego is something bad, but in all actuality the only thing the Ego is trying to do is prevent you from getting hurt.
Most likely, you’ve been hurt in the past – we all have. And in order to try and prevent that from happening again, the Ego will do and say whatever it has to so you don’t have to experience the pain of failure, heartbreak, trauma or rejection ever again.
It will try to keep you where you are, because where you are feels “safe.” In other words, the Ego doesn’t like change. Quite frankly, it thinks change sucks. So it will scare you to no end so you don’t go into “unsafe” territory.
- “No, don’t leave your corporate job for a career you love … it’s unsafe.”
- “Don’t open your heart to someone again … it’s unsafe.”
- “Don’t try to lose weight again … it’s unsafe.”
However, by “protecting” us and us listening to it, we stay stagnant and don’t allow natural change to happen.
We resist the natural flow and that causes pain – mental, emotional and, at times, even physical pain. If you think about “rejection” – that’s change.
Most likely we were in this happy space, imagining and attaching to some ideal outcome, and then BAM! Rejection makes us feel unsafe and uncertain. It’s a blow to your Ego as they say. This is why the Ego reacts so strongly.
So what can you do so that you don’t have to go through this pain over and over again? We can’t avoid rejection, even if we try. So, here is how to rise above rejection, befriend your ego and embrace change so it acts as a catalyst to move you forward instead of continuously knocking you to the ground.
1. Increase Your Connection To Source And Your True Self
If you don’t want your loud Ego to consistently overpower your true voice, then you need to strengthen your ability to hear the whisper of your intuition (your True Self.) The way you do this is by connecting to Source Energy (a.k.a. the Universe, God, Nature, Prana, Chi) through meditation.
You are directly connected to Universal Intelligence so if you want to operate on a higher vibration instead of constantly feeling knocked down by negativity, this is a non-negotiable. When you connect to truth, you won’t be as bothered by other people’s opinions and responses to you and your Ego won’t be as loud either.
You will have this knowing that you are safe and it’s safe to take risks and go after what you want.
2. Unmask Your Emotions
When you’re feeling rejected, it’s worth looking at what’s under that emotion. Instead of accepting it as your reality, ask yourself, “Why am I feeling this way?” “What is this making me feel about myself?” “What truth is there to that?”
While it may be simple, this process can be incredibly healing and quieting to your Ego voice. Once you can see that there is little truth behind the emotion, you will be able to release those uncomfortable feelings so much more easily.
3. Release The Subconscious Beliefs
Sometimes, our beliefs about ourselves are so deeply ingrained in our programming that it may seem impossible to work through them.
In this instance, doing powerful work such as EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) or certain types of breath work and meditations geared towards releasing trapped beliefs and emotions can be extremely powerful. It helps resetting your energy and allowing you to feel empowered and aligned moving forward.
4. Embrace The Rejection
Yes, sometimes we need to be “rejected.” Sometimes what we want isn’t what we need. In these times, it’s up to us to either choose to feel defeated or choose to seek the lessons in the failures, mistakes and rejections (keeping in mind that “rejection” is simply a perception, not a truth), and love ourselves fully despite all of it.
As you are able to connect more deeply to Source as well as your True Self, you will begin to see that everything you thought was happening TO you, was and is happening FOR you. You will find the gems in the garbage piles and be able to use them to guide you in the right direction.
The Universe wants you to be kick-ass. It wants you to succeed, find love and attract abundance – but we don’t always know the best path to do that (remember, we’re usually listening to that Ego voice.) So trust, embrace and have faith.
5. Change Your Perception
As mentioned above, rejection isn’t a truth. It’s something we’ve made up, just like “wrong” and “unacceptable.” If you constantly feel a sense of rejection, choose to change your perspective on it. What if instead of rejection, it was an opportunity to experience something even better?
What if instead of rejection it was a chance to discover more about how strong and powerful you are? And what if instead of reacting to the rejection with sadness and defeat, you just laughed?
Choose to recognize the power of your thoughts and perceptions and make a conscious effort to guide them in the direction that empowers you the most!
Did this resonate with you? I want to hear from you! Leave your stories, experiences and comments below!