Are You Compromising, Or Completely Losing Yourself?

A bad relationship can take everything away from you.

Relationships are the foundation of any existence, especially romantic relationships. A romantic relationship becomes the crux of our lives as we progress through it, and our romantic partner has the biggest influence on our life. For a relationship to thrive, we need to communicate well and know how to compromise. All of us know that every relationship is a give and take, and on certain days, we have to give more than we are given. However, it is unfortunate that not everyone believes in giving and taking equally. Many people compromise to such an extent that they lose themselves in a relationship. This can be a painful and ultimately fruitless process, and is a sign of an extremely unhealthy relationship. Most people don’t realize they’ve completely lost themselves in a relationship until the torment and the depression takes a huge toll on their physical and mental health. If you exhibit any of these signs in a relationship, you may be the one who is giving much more than you are getting, and it may be time to rethink the relationship.

1. You Have Almost No Self-Confidence

ou feel like you have lost all confidence in yourself.

Self-confidence is one of the most important things to have for an independent and self-assured person, but an unhealthy relationship that makes us compromise too much can take these important things away from us. This is because we begin to rely completely on what our partner wants, and before we know it, we begin to give away our autonomy in an effort to save the relationship and keep it going. Our partner has made it clear that they don’t want to give, and this can make us feel unworthy. We believe that if we are able to do everything for them, they will finally see our worth. At the end of the day though, we go to sleep feeling completely lost and hopeless, trying to salvage any self-confidence we have left over for the next day.

2. You Compromise On Your Needs

You give up what you need from a relationship to be with someone

There is a big difference between wants and needs, and when we lose ourselves in a relationship, we give away all our needs. A want is something we can tweak a bit here and there, but a need is the core of why we are in a relationship. A need might be emotional fulfilment, while being romantic might be a want. You can find someone who fulfils your emotional needs even when he isn’t necessarily romantic. In an unhealthy relationship, you are made to feel guilty for having needs even though a toxic partner demands you meet all of their needs. This makes you give up everything you have ever wanted from a relationship, even though those things are extremely important to you.

3. You Social Life Has Taken A Hit

You have no quality time with your friends anymore

A lot of people naturally deviate towards their partner and stop spending time with their friends when they start a new relationship. They neglect social duties and gatherings because their partner might demand they do so, which isn’t a healthy way to handle a relationship. A partner might be insecure and dominating, which is translated into controlling their partner’s social life. After a while, there is nowhere to turn because the relationship has taken over a person’s life and they might not know who to turn to anymore because they’ve lost all their friends.

4. You Seek Your Partner’s Approval For Everything

You need your partner's permission to do even the smallest thing

When you compromise too much, you also give away your control over a lot of things. As you lose self-confidence and independence, you depend on your partner for everything, including making even the smallest decision. Your partner might want to have control over your life because they believe this helps them feel more secure, but through the relationship, you may feel like you need approval or permission to do something as simple as meeting a family member. When there is a healthy sense of confidence, self-assurance and independence, a person is able to make decisions without asking for permission, but an unhealthy relationship takes all of this away from you.

5. You Feel Emotionally Blunted

You only feel negative emotions all the time

When you compromise too much, you know that you’re in an unfair relationship and you know that something just isn’t right, but you are not able to do anything about this. You understand that you have lost control of your life, and you can feel the change in who you are, and this knowledge can make you angry, resentful, desolate and even scared. These emotions become completely dominant, with happiness and joy being fleeting. You may find yourself feeling neutral now and then, especially when you’re not around your partner, but most times, you keep fluctuating between angry, resentful or sad.

6. You’ve Lost Sight Of Your Dreams

You have nothing that defines you anymore.

Finally, the things that define you as a person, your passions and dreams, seem like mere thoughts to you when you compromise too much in a relationship. You wake up feeling like working towards a goal or a dream is worthless, and that any challenge you take up is bound to end in failure. A toxic relationship takes away everything that makes you who you are, and leaves you feeling hollow and pained through your time in the relationship. If you have felt all the points above, it might be time for you to leave behind a bad relationship and focus on rebuilding yourself.