When you carry a grudge, it changes your heart. You see the world differently. You make different choices than someone who is not holding a grudge. It limits your potential in ways you cannot even imagine. Holding onto a grudge affects the way you see the world. There are no more bright colors – life become shades of gray. You are suspicious of other people’s motives and find yourself questioning what people mean by what they say. There is a fear in you of being taken advantage of so you don’t share anything personal with others. You keep secrets all the time. No one knows what you are really like.
What Happens When You Hold A Grudge?
You don’t feel confident – this limits your career. It makes you less attractive as a job candidate – people can tell you are not warm and friendly. You get passed over for promotions because no one really knows you or trusts you (because you don’t trust others – you send out that vibe).
You no longer smile as often as you used to. People notice that when you do smile, there’s no sparkle in your eyes. You are cynical and untrusting. The world is not a happy place – when you look around, you see more darkness than Light. People may start to avoid you because of your cynicism. The happy people don’t want to be around you because of the unpleasant attitude you can’t seem to shake – as a result, you don’t get invited to as many parties or social events. You may begin to feel kind of numb inside. You don’t feel things as deeply as you once did. You can behold the beauty of a sunset and it doesn’t impact you. You feel dead inside. Your heart is growing cold and hard. You feel stuck and you don’t know what to do about it. You used to feel compassion and care about things. Now you just don’t care. You feel ambivalent about many things. You lose your passion. Life becomes empty and boring.
You don’t feel close to people, not even your friends and family. You don’t feel “grounded” or attached to anything. Life begins to feel meaningless. You might even think suicide is an option because life doesn’t seem to make sense anymore. You lack purpose. Why do you even get up in the morning? You can’t find joy in anything. Your job is not satisfying. You don’t feel happy or excited about anything anymore. You might start to feel depressed.
Ways To Let Go Of Your Grudge
How do you change? Let go of your grudge! Make a list of all the grudges you have and then let go of them, one by one. It will take a while, most people have a pretty long list of grudges they have accumulated in their life.
1. Know That Grudge Is Harmful And Let It Go
Decide it’s time to let it go. Holding onto your grudge is NOT helping you. You think it is – that somehow it creates a sense of justice by holding onto it, but it doesn’t. It just makes you hurt inside every time you think about what happened. It’s time to let it go. Your heart will thank you.
2. Vent Out The Grudge
Think about what happened and learn from it. What messages did you receive from what happened? What do you wish you could have said or done differently? What can you learn about people and relationships from the experience? Ask the Spirit of Truth to teach you what you need to know – ask for insight and it will come. Write about it in your journal so you can remember what you learned. Tell a friend – that will help to cement it in your mind.
3. Do Something To Release The Grudge
Here are some suggestions for how to release the grudge in a tangible way:
- Write a letter expressing all your anger and pain and then burn it.
- Take a photo of the person, put it in a chair and and talk out loud to them as though they are there listening to what you have to say.
- Write on a balloon:“I forgive and let go” and then release the balloon outside.
- Write a song or poem about letting it go.
- Find a way to express it that works for you (without hurting or confronting anyone else – this is for YOU, remember?)
As you release your grudges, one by one, you will begin to feel your heart changing. You will start to smile more. You will have a renewed passion for life. You will be nicer to be around. People will like you more. YOU will like yourself more. The more your like who you are, the more confident you will become – this will lead to more opportunities in life. Try it! It works.
If you need some help letting go, I created quick exercises to help you determine who you need to forgive and how to do it. In my book, Freedom through Forgiveness, I share inspiring stories to give you hope that your life can change for the better. Just click the button below to find out more. You can also contact me through my website for personal one-on-one coaching. I’ll help you overcome the obstacles in your life to joy and fulfillment. You can be happy – I promise!
