Pregnancy and childbirth are always more connected to the mother than the father. Parenting usually concentrates more on the mother and there are only a few pointers for the new father. Especially right after childbirth, fathers are not fully aware of what to do and what not to do or how to help the new mother around. All new fathers miss on a few things and the mothers wish dads knew to offer a hand in parenting the newborn. After speaking to several new mothers, here is the list of things moms expect dads to know about them.
1. New Mothers Still Want To Feel Sexy
Childbirth alters a woman’s body in many ways and pregnancy often causes women to feel they are not sexy anymore. The urge to feel sexy after or during pregnancy is incessant even though mothers don’t say it out loud. Mothers feel that men should tell their wives how beautiful or sexy she still is even if it is not entirely true. This gives the expecting or new mother confidence and makes her feel good. New mothers deserve as much attention as the newborn. So, dads, it is your duty to make your lady feel special, loved, and good. Even if that means you’ve to lie.
2. We’re New To This Too
Most of them think it is easy for women to become mothers and nurturing and childcare comes naturally to them. But, this is not entirely true. While women have a natural maternal instinct, they are new to parenting and pregnancy. Your wife is as scared as you are and would need some motivation and support from you. Just because your wife is at home all day, doesn’t mean she’s resting and does not have much work. In fact, dealing with a newborn or even an unborn is almost a feat. Feeding the newborn, breastfeeding, changing nappies are all difficult and new to a first-time mom. It is time for the men to put on their capes and help out their wives by just being there, showing your support and tell her you’re scared too. The key is to be in it together and get through it as a couple.
3. Pregnancy Mood Swings.
Pregnancy takes a toll on a woman’s emotional and physical health. Expecting mothers experience mood swings and can be cranky or irritated as a symptom of pregnancy. Your wife may cry for petty things, get angry or randomly feel low. These are pregnancy symptoms and have nothing to do with her love for you. Your wife loves you dearly and more so when she’s carrying your child. Being exhausted and not wanting sex as much as before pregnancy has nothing to do with you. She is tired and her hormones are in a rage.
Also, men feel new mothers often tend to dominate or take charge when dads want to help in taking care of the baby. Once again, this is not because your wife doesn’t trust you. Her maternal instincts simply take over and she’s scared and overprotective of your baby. Give your lady some time and she’ll be glowing each time you offer to change the baby’s nappies or offer to calm down the crying baby.
4. Pregnancy, Childbirth, And Breastfeeding
It is a known fact that pregnancy is painful and exciting at the same time. Carrying a human inside you while your body is changing in ways you’ve never experienced before leaves you confused and tired. It feels weird when you have babies, milk, and placenta coming out of your body. While the nine months are a task, the recovery from childbirth is another story. A woman’s body takes a lot of time to recover from giving birth and coming back to the pre-pregnancy body. The pains of labor, discomfort, and the new phenomena of breastfeeding are all exhausting at the least.
Men often think breastfeeding comes easily to women. Breastfeeding is an art and requires much practice to be skilled at it. There are a thousand things that can go wrong with breastfeeding starting from issues with production and latching. The least dads can do is to understand and support the new mother as she figures out her way around all of these, all while she’s still recovering from her pregnancy and childbirth.
5. We Need Help And Breaks
Giving birth is in itself a victory. After childbirth, your wife is still emotional and tired. And taking care of a newborn is hectic. Offer to help with cleaning the house while your lady love takes a nap. She needs her break and time to relax from the newborn. Give her a massage, make her dinner, buy her flowers or offer to take your newborn for a walk while she catches up on her sleep. Your support is needed during pregnancy, childbirth and after childbirth too. It is your child too and there is no need to feel like you’re babysitting your own baby. If your wife is cranky or irritated, tell her it will be okay and calm her down rather than lashing out at her.
Men are scared as diapers as they are of grenades. Diapers are simply diapers. There is nothing dangerous or gross about them. Diapers are dirty it is fine to change soiled diapers without making a face or a big deal out of it. New mothers are often concerned about how men are oblivious to diapers and how they feel it is the mother’s job to change nappies. It is just poop and moreover, it is your own offspring’s poop. There is no harm in offering to change soiled diapers and let your wife get some rest from all the poop. But, just make sure you don;t use one full box of wipes to change one diaper. It ticks your wife off or anyone for that matter. Watch and learn when your wife tends to your newborn.
There is no manual as such to parenting. Your wife is as scared and clueless as you are about pregnancy and parenting. Your wife is a superwoman but she still needs you by her side. So, do your best and be there for her during and after her pregnancy. It is a couple thing after all.