Sex is something that’s on the minds of all men, yet most men don’t know the art of making love. That is because having sex and making love are two different things with a thin line of separation. Sex is more selfish while making love is the act of pleasuring both yourself and your partner. The ultimate result is achieving climax or better known as an orgasm followed by ejaculation.
Women can achieve multiple orgasms and ejaculate multiple times without any problem. Between foreplay and sex, a woman can achieve orgasms more than 10 times in a single session, with each orgasm lasting between 10 and 20 seconds. Unfortunately, men tend to tire away and sleep off after an ejaculation leaving their partner high and dry.
In order to enjoy a pleasurable love-making session, with both partners experiencing heightened stimulation and achieving multiple orgasms, men must master the art of controlling their urge to ejaculate. All one has to do is learn how to have an orgasm without actually ejaculating. As ejaculation follows an orgasm by a second or two, it essentially feels the same. Here are simple methods to have an orgasm without ejaculating.
Orgasm and ejaculation can be separated and controlled by following three practices:
- Controlled breathing
- Strengthening the PC (pubococcygeus) muscle
- The stop/start method
1. Controlled Breathing
- Deep and controlled breathing can not only keep your mind off your genitals and its sensations, but it will also help you reduce your heartbeat when you’re about to experience an orgasm. Start practicing by taking long, deep breaths. Then, count to three and exhale as slowly through the nose as air passes even slower this way.
- While making love, when you are about to orgasm, your breathing rate will increase as you become more excited. At this point, inhale, hold for a few seconds, and then exhale slowly through the nose. This allows your body to become more relaxed and delay ejaculation.
- According to some tantric practices, you can also control your breathing by exchanging energy with your partner. Bring your faces close together and while you breathe in, your partner breathes out, and vice-versa.
- If you want to stop thrusting to delay ejaculation, that’s absolutely fine. But, keep your breathing rhythmic and slow as this calms your body down quickly and you can resume the thrusting.
2. Strengthening The PC Muscles
- These are the muscles that control the flow of urine. Start practicing by stopping urination at mid-stream. Start off just once during urination, then build up by stopping and going a few times. This will help you gain better control over the PC muscles.
- Continue to strengthen the muscles by tightening the PC muscles several times a day and holding them for a few seconds each time. You’ll slowly gain the strength required to use these muscles to stop an ejaculation.
- Try lifting weights with your penis by giving yourself an erection, hanging a towel or wet washcloth over the end.
- While in the act of lovemaking, clamp down on your PC muscles to prevent ejaculation. Do this just before you feel an orgasm is about to occur. You will orgasm without ejaculating, and as a result, stay hard.
3. The Stop/Start Technique
- Practice on your own by masturbating. Once you feel you are about to ejaculate, pull back until the feeling stops, and then start again (hence the name start/stop). This helps you to build up your PC muscles and desensitize yourself so that you can last longer.
- Practice this same technique during a love-making session. Just before you are about to ejaculate, stop what you are doing until the urge subsides. Then, start again and stop whenever you feel you are about to achieve an orgasm. It may take a bit of practice before mastering this method.
- Once you reach the first initial orgasm, don’t stop. Continue at a pace that is only intense enough to maintain the erection. This will take some practice before you find the correct pace. You can interchange positions and slow down the pace so that you can control your movements.
4. Use Your Hands
Some manual techniques can also be practiced to help a man achieve an orgasm without ejaculating. Although these actions may result in a temporary loss of erection, it can be quickly recovered and the love-making can be resumed. Just when you are about to ejaculate, do one of the following.
- The woman forms a tripod shape using her thumb, index and middle fingers, which is placed around the tip of the penis and squeezed until the orgasm subsides.
- The woman uses her palm and presses down on the tip of the penis
- The man or woman must grip onto the base of the penis and hold, again until the orgasm passes.