Falling in love is the most beautiful feeling in the world- it’s always wonderful to have someone with whom you can share the rest of your life with. But all your happiness could shatter into a million tiny pieces with a single confession or realization that your partner has been cheating on you. It is hard to forgive a cheating partner and impossible to forget the pain they caused you. But there are many couples who have worked their way around the ugliness of infidelity. The key is to find out whether your relationship is worth all the hard work.
5 Questions To Ask Yourself:
Some cheating partners are worth forgiving, while it’s wiser to let go of others. The first step is to find out whether your spouse deserves a second chance. Ask yourself these questions to reach a conclusion.
1. Why Did It Happen?
The first thing to find out is why it happened in the first place. Was it just moment of weakness? Try to think from their point of view. If you were in their shoes, would you have done it? Did they do it half-heartedly or were they yearning to do it in the first place? Were they just bored or where they dying for love? The answers to all these questions would guide you decide whether your relationship is worth saving.
2. How Sound Was Your Relationship When It Happened?
Were you going through a rough patch when your partner cheated on you? Not that it gives them the license to cheat, but an unhappy partner seeking for solace is more relatable than someone who chose to cheat on you even while you were blissfully in love with them. If you didn’t notice a rift between you and your partner at the time they cheated on you, maybe your relationship was not all that strong to begin with.
3. How Often Has It Happened?
Did it just happen once or has it been going on for a long time? Has there been many slip ups or did they lose self control just for a moment? If the affair has been going on for long or if your partner has cheated on you many times then it shows that they had no issues with being disloyal to you for such a long period of time.
4. Have They Done This To Others?
This is a crucial question to ponder upon. If your partner has a history of cheating on other people, then it is not surprising that they have done it to you too. And if that is the case, chances are that they will cheat on you again no matter what they promise you.
5. Do They Regret Their Actions?
How did you find out that your partner was cheating on you? Did they confess or did you find out by mere coincidence? How did they react when you confronted them- did they deny it or try to lie their way out of it? Or did they admit it and beg for forgiveness? All these factors play a vital role in helping you decide whether to hold on or let go. If they are pretty okay out about the fact that they betrayed your trust then you have already gotten your answer.
5 Tips To Survive It:
If you have found answers to these five questions, and have decided to give your relationship or another shot, these 5 tips could help you out.
1. Vent Out
Yes, the best way to start things off is by laying everything out in the open- anger, pain, sorrow, regret…the only way to understand what each of you is feeling is by opening up about it. It’s okay to shout, it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to feel crushed- but do communicate everything you are feeling. They will listen to you patiently and respond accordingly if they are really sorry about how things turned out to be.
2. Respect Each Other’s Privacy
Give each other the required space. It might even be a good idea to stay away from each other for some time until you both get a handle on the course of events that keep unfolding. You could ask you partner to move out for a few weeks or choose to do so yourself. Also, just because your partner cheated on you does not make you their mother. You cannot keep policing their whereabouts, calls, or texts. Don’t pry on them no matter how tempted you are.
3. Meet Frequently
It is important that you keep meeting up to talk things out. Even if you can’t stand to be with them in the beginning, you will have to try your best to be civil with each other and talk so that things get back to normal once again. Discuss with each other whether your relationship is worth a second chance. Ask all the questions you want to ask- if your partner really cares about you, then you will get all the answers. Do this no matter how painful it is.
4. Work Towards A New Relationship
This is going to take some time and a lot of hard work. But you have to realize that your old relationship has withered up and died. You are going to have to start from square one. Think of it as a new beginning, a new version of the person you used to love. It is okay to feel insecure and angry. It is also okay to not trust your partner in the beginning. If things go well and they don’t stray again, you will slowly learn to trust them like before.
5. Be Ready To Make Some Changes
True that your partner cheated, but it is never their fault completely (most of the time). If your partner is working hard to keep your relationship afloat, then you should do the same too.Find out the reasons that caused them to cheat on you- it is important that you do this. What did they get from that new person that you couldn’t give them? Was it because they were more caring? More fun than you? Better in bed? Spent more time with them? Why were they dissatisfied? These are questions you ought to ask your partner as well as yourself. No one is perfect and there is always room for improvement. Change for the better; it will help deepen and strengthen your relationship.
In time you will learn to forgive your partner and fall in love with them all over again. Mind you, this does not happen with all couples- only the ones who really have a connection get through such deep waters, while the others choose to move on or stay stuck in an unhappy relationship. Also, keep in mind that your partner definitely does not require a third or fourth chance; don’t let love blind you if they cheat on you again!