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Tips To Overcome Negative Self-Talk

Overwhelmed. Confused. Doubtful. Fearful. Stuck.

These are the most common excuses I hear when my clients tell me they aren’t happy with their life. And it isn’t “just my clients” who are experiencing these debilitating behaviors. It happens to most of us, most of the time. And it can be scary!

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Not knowing what to do next or feeling that your decision-making skills aren’t up to par will either leave you treading water for a long time, or have you running around frantically trying to save a sinking ship! Neither of these decisions are worthy of keeping. So let’s talk about how you can begin to build confidence in your problem-solving skills and start reaping the rewards today; not a year from today.

3 Steps To Build Confidence In Your Problem-Solving Skills

When followed, the three steps below will quickly change your behaviors and thinking around facing challenges, and will provide you with an easy-to-use formula to improve your results in any area of life.

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Step 1.  Discovery

The first step is discovering what you don’t know or don’t understand to solve your problem.  This insight will provide you with a direction for your progress. Essentially, you need to discover what you don’t know that you don’t know.  And in turn that new knowledge will lead you to uncover new information, new resources, and new strategies that you didn’t know, that you didn’t know until now (in other words, that you were ignorant of not knowing). Makes sense?

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Let me give you an example:  Let’s say that before you read my article today, you had never heard of NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming).  But through reading my article and by doing enough research on the internet, you learn what NLP is and how it is used to help individuals and companies to overcome difficult challenges and produce better results.  Now you know what NLP is and how it is used.  You have just gained new knowledge that you didn’t have before.  In addition to learning what NLP is used for, you realize that you could use these skills to offer greater benefits with the services you currently offer through your business.  Now, you have discovered something that you didn’t know – that you didn’t know – that you didn’t know!  You have expanded your thinking.  I call this Thinking Laterally.  Instead of being trapped in the box and coming up with the same ideas and solutions, you are exploring the vast possibilities of innovation.

The graphic below is a visual example of how new knowledge and innovation are found through uncovering “What you don’t know that you don’t know!”

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The good news is that as you continue to learn new ideas and strategies, there are always more powerful and effective ideas just waiting to be discovered!

Step 2. Resources

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Now that you have identified the problem, it’s time to learn how to solve it. This can be done in several ways. I prefer to use one of the 3 following ways to gain new information or to learn a new skill.

“Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” – Chinese Proverb

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Image: https://www.123rf.com/photo_49127830_multi-ethnic-group-of-people-in-seminar-concept.html?term=workshop&vti=ocfg7iu43erkiaa06t

Note: The downside to hiring an expert is the fact that you won’t be taught how to solve the same problem in the future. So be cautious when you seek outside help to make sure you aren’t cheating yourself out of the rewards of personal growth.

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Step 3. Integration

After you have found the steps to overcome your problem, you have to integrate them into your life. Integration is a process of refinement. This means you need to take your new knowledge or behavior and use it as much as possible until you have tested and refined your process to create a formula – a proven method that consistently achieves a successful outcome.

Too often we get caught up in the rat race mentality and we rush our learning curve. In order to confidently say that you have mastered a process, you must be able to duplicate the results over and over and over again! And the way to achieve mastery is through consistent practice, testing, and analysis of your results. Define what is working and why it’s working; define what isn’t working or what it is that you don’t understand and give that area attention. Stay the course and focus on the outcome you desire. When you follow these steps, you will get there faster than you might imagine.

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