Somewhere in the haste of becoming a somebody, many just get stuck to distorted notions about being self-reliant. Many individuals who claim that they are self-made or independent, usually have a resistance to seek and receive help. This category of doers likes to get things done by themselves without really involving anybody else for fear of appearing incompetent or vulnerable.
The veil of self-sufficiency is an excellent way to keep one’s insecurities, stress, and several mental health issues under wraps. Counselling is a great way to become up, close and personal with whatever’s bothering one’s wellbeing in the presence of an experienced psychotherapist. Unfortunately, people still haven’t warmed up to the concept of getting a counselor involved as a solution to a problem. Here are 7 reasons why people often say no to meeting a counselor.
1. What Will Others Think?
This concept of being overly concerned about social acceptance has been ingrained in everyone’s mind since childhood. Not taking help for something that’s bothering you due to the fear of being gossiped in social circles will lead to catastrophic consequences. Remember that life is too short to be spent pleasing those who aren’t your genuine well-wishers.
You should do some introspection and be courageous enough to admit that you need to meet a counselor. Don’t bother about back-stabbers or gossipmongers. All they can do is bluff but if you don’t take charge, you will be the one having to live with the end result of not seeking help in time.
2. Counselling Is For The Crazy
If you think that people who seek counseling are the ones who have lost their minds, you are horribly wrong. In the face of any problem, it takes a brave heart to ask for help while the weak ones evade it. People who are high-functioning can be subjected to a lot of stress on a daily basis due to various reasons. Counsellors can guide them to choose different outlets to expend energy and also encourage them to live life mindfully.1
3. It’s Too Expensive To Meet A Shrink
The freedom that comes with having money to spend is an undeniable reality. If you really need something, you will move mountains to get it. It all starts with how hard you want it. If you feel that your current budget cannot afford a shrink, you need to find an alternate source of income to support your therapy. Once you attend all sessions of counseling, it won’t be long before you realize that the money spent was one of the best investments you could’ve ever made.2
4. It Feels Really Weird To Talk
While you are in conversation with a counselor, you would need to talk your heart out as lame talks won’t be the focus. Human interactions have become robotic and superficial in our times. It’s so rare to find people who are keen to have a heart-to-heart chat.
Yes, it will feel weird in the first few appointments just like anything new, but you will eventually get comfortable with your counselor. All you need is a bit of courage, patience and time. Stop overthinking and have a casual conversation with your counselor as helping you overcome whatever is bothering you is their first priority.
5. How Can A Stranger Help?
Right from childhood, we are taught the golden rule ” don’t talk to strangers”. As we mature we learn that some of the people whom we call friends were total strangers to at one point. Your counselor is someone who wants you to feel good about yourself. Talking with them will offer fresh perspectives on your life’s troubles. As you become more open to them, you will be pleasantly surprised at how encouraging and relatable their advice can be.
6. I Don’t Want To Be Judged
Judgements begin only when people refuse to come out of their own assumptions about a person. You have to accept that you have no control over what people think about you. A well-sorted and compassionate individual will not jump to a conclusion of about anyone or anything before getting to know the details.3
Understand that seeking a counselor’s help in getting your act together may be silly to some and shocking to many. You should take the moral high ground here and let things be as it is. Judgements won’t matter to you unless you start taking them personally. Even if you do something to please the naysayers, you will still be judged. Therefore, it’s best to do what’s best for you in the long run.
7. I Know How To Handle My Life!
This is an excuse that reeks of a huge ego and blinding overconfidence. Humans are social beings whose actions, emotions, tone, and words can create ripples that are far-reaching. If you feel that people are not presenting their best selves to you, it’s time you sat down and faced your inner demons.
People who believe this excuse fail at leading fulfilling lives. It’s best to step down from the high horse and take a good look at what you can do differently with your life that could bring joy and peace to those around you as well. Counseling can help you break away from delusional thoughts.
It takes wisdom to understand that something’s off with one’s life and it takes even bigger valor to allow a counselor to help you with the problem. Life will never be easy and each day you would have to choose between being a victor or a victim. Counseling is a path adopted by victors who are willing enough to transform their lives for the best. Ultimately, it’s up to you to make the choice!
|↑1||Vogel, David L., Stephen R. Wester, and Lisa M. Larson. “Avoidance of counseling: Psychological factors that inhibit seeking help.” Journal of Counseling & Development 85, no. 4 (2007): 410-422.|
|↑2||The Top 10 Reasons People Say No to Counseling. Gustavus Adolphus College|
|↑3||Smith, Jeffrey M. “Fear as a barrier?: African American men’s avoidance of counseling services.” Journal of African American Studies 6, no. 4 (2002): 47-60.|