Everyone admires a gentle and kind person. They are calm enough to handle a tough situation and deal with rough people. But your gentleness should not stop you from speaking up when you are unfairly treated by another. Relationships do not have any meaning if you can’t be yourself. You will waste your energy and time worrying, instead of enjoying and cherishing moments with your partner. In every relationship, partners should have a space to express their displeasure and discontent. If you are not able to do it, try these ways.
1. Understand Your Fears
Realizing your weaknesses is as important as knowing your strengths. Analyze what stops you from speaking up. You may be scared of some traits of your partner or your colleague. Any of the past experiences from them might have affected your confidence, thus, stopping you from expressing yourself. If you don’t speak up and bottle up your feelings, it may eventually turn into resentment and anger. Hence, try to figure out the circumstances that keep you silent. If you are aware of the triggers, when you confront them you will be prepared to do it rationally. Discovering your self-worth will raise your awareness level, boosting your confidence.
2. Discipline Your Mind
When you decide to speak up, your mind may come up with thoughts of fear. The voice of fear resonates in your head, thwarting the attempts to speak. When you want to point out the mistakes made by your boss, fear of losing the job may haunt you. When you want to disagree with your partner, fear of wrecking the relationship may stop you. However, some of the warning signs that come from your mind are valid. But, some of them cripple your courage. Learn to discipline your mind so that you know how to differentiate between the genuine warnings and discouragements. Make use of therapies that can strengthen your mind-body bonding. Also, read books that can enlighten you. Meditation helps you calm your mind, thus, decision-making will be easier.
3. Get Help
Recognizing your fears should make it easy for you to share it with someone who is wise enough to understand you. If you find it difficult to discipline your mind in other ways, talking can help you. Connecting with other people provides you new perspectives. As you converse about relationships or life with others, you also tend to look into yourself. Knowing how other people overcome these kinds of obstacles gives you a wider insight into your problem.
4. Pick Your Battles
Gaining courage to speak up does not mean that you can do it every now and then. Sometimes you end up hurting others unnecessarily. If you are a person who never used to confront anyone, your sudden change in behavior may surprise them. Learn to pick your battles. When an annoying situation comes up, think of another alternative to deal with it. Run with it, instead of choosing confrontation. If you confront every other matter your partner says, then he or she will not take your words seriously. Save your energy for things that matter.
5. Make Smart Choices
This step is very significant but at the same time a tough one. You do not deserve to be in a relationship where you do not have any voice. When you fail to be yourself, you become angry and passive-aggressive over a course of time. Make a decision about what you want. If you have failed to remain happy in a relationship after making efforts, then it’s time for you to decide. Make your choice before circumstances forcefully change you to a different person.