Expectant moms have a tough time during nine months because of the pains and aches associated with pregnancy. But, something else makes it worse for them. Guess what?
The unnecessary comments and unsolicited advice that comes their way! Many people do not know what to share with a woman who is about to give birth. They may talk about the expected complications during labor or the troubles of postpartum recovery. They may have said them with good intentions. But, unfortunately, it is not always helpful.
Well, next time when you meet a moms-to-be, know what to tell her. Because they need to hear all these.
We Know Your Worries
Every expectant mom is indeed worried about childbirth. Do not mock them. Do not tease them saying those anxieties are unnecessary.
Imagine preparing for a delivery after hearing a lot of scary stories from your friends and family. They will be terrified when they think about those things that could go wrong. A preterm delivery, an emergency c-section, baby getting deprived of oxygen during labor, or failure to progress – the list of concerns goes on. It is normal for any first time mom’s brains to work in this way.
You were there, you have gone through the same period of anxiety. Stop making fun of them. Instead, lend an ear.
We Respect Your Choice
Moms-to-be have the right to make a decision about their bodies. Some of them may choose a c-section over vaginal birth. Or some may choose water births. Many expectant moms may desire the presence of doulas to assist them during childbirth.
Do not judge them or question their decision. They know to weigh the pros and cons of every available option and to make a decision. When they are given the freedom to choose, women are less likely to suffer from birth trauma.
Yes, there may be medical emergencies when they need to go against their choice. But, you should not stop them from preparing a birth plan pointing out those emergencies. Let them prepare and hope for the best. Support them, that’s the best thing you can do now.
You Are Strong To Do It
Tell your friend, “Childbirth is tough, but you are strong enough to handle it.”
In fact, childbirth is not an easy task. Everyone knows that. You don’t need to create a rosy picture about it. Even your friend may know the hardships and complications associated with childbirth. There is no point in dismissing all those concerns as lies. But, it does not mean that you can scare her with horror stories.
Instead, you can tell her that there will be tough moments during labor. But, there is nothing she cannot handle. Like every other mom who is giving birth all over the world, she also has the energy to cope with it. Give her a hint that even though breastfeeding is very special, it may not come naturally. And remind her that breastfeeding gets better in a few days time and it is a common problem among new moms. Tell her not to give up!
Use These Helpful Tips
If you are a mom, share tips that were helpful for you during labor. But, do not force them on her. It’s her choice whether to practice it or not.
You might have experienced that staying at home during early labor is helpful. Eating and drinking well at this time might have helped you manage the pain. Certain positions might have been comfortable for you during labor. Share everything that helped you with childbirth. And of course, breastfeeding tips too. Remind her that it is not uncommon for new mothers to experience the baby blues after a baby is born.
We Are There For You
‘Do not panic, we are there for you! Ask for any help postpartum, we will be there for you!’
How comforting for a new mom! When you warn her about the emotional roller-coaster ride after the baby is born, don’t forget to offer your help. Tell her that she doesn’t have to do everything on her own after childbirth and there is no harm in seeking help. Make her aware of the importance of taking care of herself. And offer her any help she needs. From taking care of the baby to doing household chores – promise your help.