Are all your friends are getting engaged and having kids while you’re single as a pringle? Does thinking of them make you anxious? Does the thought of not finding someone to settle down with scare you? Do you often ask yourself, “When am I finally going to meet the one?” If you’ve answered ‘yes’ to the questions above, it might be time for you to hear the cold, hard truth -“The one” might not exist, but most importantly, that’s okay. The idea that there is one person in this world specially designed for you might be a comforting thought but it is also extremely naive. That is not to say you will never find a partner who makes you happy, but that all relationships require hard work and discipline and things don’t just fall into place magically.
Many people wait eagerly for “it” (falling in love) to happen to them, but it’s important for people who are at that stage in their lives to remember that there is absolutely no need to rush. Of course you can put in the effort to find someone, but if it doesn’t work out, it’s not the end of the world. In the past, finding a partner to settle down with was the social norm because of a number of reasons including financial security, organizing sexual conduct, procreation, etc. but today, single people can live a complete life by themselves while not being held back by the necessities of the past. Listed below are a few more reasons as to why you shouldn’t rush into a long-term relationship.
1. Understand Yourself First
It is very important for every individual to know what they want from life and which direction they’re heading in before they get into a long-term relationship. It is also important to understand one’s imperfections as well as realize one’s strengths. If you enter a relationship without having figured this out, it is very easy for you to lose your sense of direction or be influenced by your partner. Of course, understanding yourself might be one of the hardest things to do but when it’s done, it’ll make making decisions a lot more easier.
2. Deal With Your Insecurities
It is human tendency to have insecurities and they’re not all easy to resolve. We may be insecure about the way we look or how much money we make. Our insecurities may hinder our progress and growth and we must therefore deal with them before entering a long-term relationship. Coming to terms and accepting who we are is important before we expect our partner to do the same for us.
3. Become As Self-Sufficient As Possible
Some people may enter into a relationship because they lack the confidence to provide for themselves or support themselves emotionally. This leads the person to become dependent on their partner for their survival causing a highly unhealthy relationship to form. Ensure that you are as independent and self-sufficient as you can be before getting into a relationship. You don’t want to have to lean on someone else to get by in life even if that person is your life partner.
4. Have A Purpose Independent Of Your Relationship
Many of us tend to attach our sense of purpose with the relationship that we’re in. So much so that, if things don’t work out we end up being lost and confused. It is important to have a purpose that is independent of the relationship that you’re in. That is, have personal goals and dreams that are close to you and strive to achieve them.
5. Always Love Yourself First
Many people get into long-term relationships because they’re desperately trying to fill a void in themselves. This might be because they haven’t learnt to love themselves first. It is dangerous to enter any relationship without loving oneself first. At the end of the day, you’re the only one you’ve got. Only with self-love comes self-respect and that’s one of the key factors required for a healthy relationship.