‘Never go to bed angry’, is an old adage. Without a doubt, there is wisdom in that advice but it is not applicable to all fights. There are times when your fights can get worse if you stay up and continue to push through a conflict. Taking some time off from a fight sometimes is a better way to go about it. Many relationship experts also advise people to sleep on it instead of fighting. Read on to know six reasons why you should consider sleeping over resolving conflicts.
1. When You Have A Big Day Tomorrow
The ‘big days’ will only come a few times in your life. So, make sure that you recognize them as and when they come knocking on your door. A big presentation, a life-changing job interview or an exam. Whatever it might be, staying up late the night before a big day can never be wise.
In case you get into a fight the night before your big day, the best thing to do is to put that fight on hold and go to sleep. Despite all your fights, your partner loves you. So, just explain to him or her that you understand the issues you two are having and you are willing to work on them. But tonight, you need to sleep because something big is waiting for the both of you tomorrow.
2. When You Don’t Know What The Fight Is About
Many times, you will end up having fights about nothing at all. And sometimes, those fights would get really ugly really fast. In such situations, you need to take a step back and analyze whether it is feasible for you to have a fight like that or not. It can take a while for you and your partner to gain perspective on the whole thing and let go of the bitterness. That is why the best thing to do in such scenarios is to get some sleep. A peaceful night of sleep will refresh your body and mind. And you will wake up the next day free from all your resentment.
3. When You Are Drunk
You should always avoid having a fight when you are drunk, whether it is with your partner or someone else. Alcohol can reduce both your inhibitions and your judgment. You might think that you have the capacity to be reasonable during a drunken fight, but you won’t realize your mistakes until the next morning. And by that time, the damage will be done. So, avoid having fights when you are not in control of your emotions. Instead, just go to sleep.
4. When You Are Sleepless And Bone Tired
Busy lives can cost you much more than just your time. It can take away your energy, sleep, and sometimes even your ability to stay up and fight. Thankfully, the last thing can be good for your relationship sometimes.
Lack of sleep can affect your moral judgment. Scientists have found out that sleep deprivation can impair a person’s ability to use cognition and emotion together to take a morally good judgment call.1 And without your moral judgment, you might not be able to fight fair and end up hurting the very person you love. So, it is better that you sleep with your impaired judgment instead of getting into a fight.
5. When You Are Out Of Control Emotionally
When you get into a fight, your brain recognizes that as a stressful situation. Thus, your brain will activate the fight or flight response in your body. This will cause elevated heart rate, heavy breathing and excessive production of stress hormone.
All these bodily changes can take a toll on your rationality and can hinder your ability to have a reasonable conversation with another person. That is why you need to find a way to calm yourself. Meditation and going for a walk helps some people. Sleep is another good way of soothing your agitated senses. Thus, you can consider sleeping if you feel too out of control to resolve a conflict.
6. When You Are In Need Of A Mediator
A lot of couples go through rough patches in their relationships that require them to seek professional guidance. In such cases, many pent up issues need to be resolved for a couple to be able to reconnect. If you are going through a rough patch, you need to understand that one night will not solve all your problems. So, the best thing is to sleep on it and seek help. Communicate with your partner about your feelings and take the decision of seeking professional help together.
Your partner should be able to see your intentions if you choose to sleep rather than get into a conflict. But make sure you communicate with your partner about your reasons beforehand to avoid further problems. You’re not avoiding the problem; you simply want to solve it at a time when you’re mind is clear.
|↑1||Killgore, William DS, Desiree B. Killgore, Lisa M. Day, Christopher Li, Gary H. Kamimori, and Thomas J. Balkin. “The effects of 53 hours of sleep deprivation on moral judgment.” Sleep 30, no. 3 (2007): 345-352.|