Guilt is a healthy feeling if you know what to do with it. Guilt gives you a chance to inspect deep within yourself and discover the path to reform and become a better person. Don’t run away from it, but learn ways to benefit from it. Given below are 10 ways to overcome guilt and forgive yourself, to help you turn coal into diamonds.
1. Talk To A Trusted Friend Or Family Member
One of the effective ways to overcome guilt and forgive yourself is to share about difficult incidents with someone you can trust. Sharing provides instant relief from negative feelings. The courage you need to open up to someone will itself empower you to own up to the incident. Just be sure not to open up to someone who might judge you.
2. Accept And Own Up To Your Mistakes
Have the courage to accept the incident in its entirety and own up to your fault. Don’t be scared and don’t remain in denial. Be honest with yourself. It is easy to blame others for the incident but if you own up to your own contribution, it will give you a chance to redeem yourself.
3. Write A Story About The Incident
Write down a story in your diary regarding your thought process leading up to the unpleasant incident. Written words are a million times more valuable than thoughts. Writing will clear you up from within and give you subtle wisdom that you may not be able to pinpoint but will equip you better the next time a similar incident happens.
4. Face Up To The Shame And Guilt
Don’t run away from the shame and guilt. Accept them and understand that they are a natural response to painful incidents. Once you have accepted them, make efforts to move past them. Tell yourself that you did whatever you felt right at that point in time and that you can learn from it. Now that the situation has changed, you have a greater understanding of your habits and you have found a new perspective.
5. Let Go Of The Incident
It is safe and beneficial to completely let go of the feelings associated with the incident. You only need to take wisdom and understanding from the incident. The feelings of guilt, remorse, and shame are no longer needed. Simply allow such feelings to exit your mind. Though this might take time, so be it. Forgiveness is a process; give it time.
6. Pray For Forgiveness From God
Ask God to forgive you. He knows everything, so surrender to Him and seek forgiveness. Also, pray for the strength to move past the incidents where you have knowingly or unknowingly hurt others.
7. Speak Or Write To The Ones You Hurt
Go and speak to the ones you knowingly or unknowingly hurt. Make a heartfelt request for forgiveness. If they forgive you, it will be easy for you to overcome guilt and forgive yourself. If you are hesitant to go speak to them, write them a letter. If you are still hesitant, speak to them within your mind. This may help you to develop the courage to speak to them directly.
8. Do Not Repeat The Same Mistake
The only way you are going to be forgiven for your wrong deeds is to stop doing them. You may commit a new mistake every time, but never repeat the same mistake again. Reform yourself. If you reform yourself, the guilt and the shame played their part and you benefit from them.
9. Have Faith In God
God is all-knowing, all-compassionate, and all-merciful. If you surrender to Him, He will forgive you. Confide in Him and tell Him all that is in your heart. He will listen. Cry out to Him, fall on your knees, and plead to Him for forgiveness.
10. Change The Underlying Personality Defect
The ultimate of ways to overcome guilt and forgive yourself is to work upon the underlying personality defect that led you to committing the mistake. By removing this personality defect, you will find a permanent solution to the recurring problem. First of all, take your diary and analyze your mistake threadbare. Find out your emotional or mental need at that time. What was your motive? What was the underlying cause that made you act the way you did? Undertake a serious, life-changing introspection process, and you will open the door to a whole new world – your inner world.1
References
