Anger and joy are quite infectious emotions. However, even the highest of joys can be destroyed by just a single fit of rage. Whenever anger strikes, it’s natural to feel consumed by it. Discretion vanishes and with that arises the incessant urge to just vent.
It’s during these time, you need to take a moment to soak in the words of the awakened being, Buddha, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned”. Rather than letting your anger define you, there’ so much more you can do when it comes to anger management.
Ways To Cope With Anger Effectively
Here are 10 subtle yet powerful do’s and don’ts you can practice when you are mad at something.1
1. Take Yourself Lightly
Having the attitude of control freak is the sure-shot way to have anger issues daily. Let go of the illusion of control. Allow spontaneity to happen. You will be surprised to see how people around you react when you become flexible. People will start surprising you with their ingenuity when you seem more accepting and less dominating.
2. Give The Benefit of Doubt
This is a great way to diffuse the rage rising within you. When someone you love or respect behaves weird, rather than getting angry about it practice some empathy. This could be thinking that maybe they didn’t mean it or they are too young or too old to understand. Just give yourself a slight boost and act mature by choosing not to react to their silliness.
3. Make Time For Introspection
If the same incident is driving you nuts every day, then it’s high time that you give a good thought to the root cause behind it. A lot of problems with temper arise when one’s expectations are unmet. If you feel that your anger is directly related to somebody else’s actions, maybe it’s time to gain a new perspective about how things can be done differently.
4. Practice Meditation
Meditation is not a one shot formula for getting rid of anger. It’s a lifestyle practice that you can do every day for 30 minutes or more even if you are angry or not. Several studies have found that people who meditate daily greatly develop their compassion and tolerance levels.2
5. Accept People For Who They Are
We tend to be very forgiving when it comes to our flaws but are quick to jump to conclusions when it comes to others. Many a time relationships get strained when people try to customize the other. Understand that expecting the other person to transform is like signing yourself up for more disappointment. Embrace their uniqueness instead of trying to control them.
6. Distract Yourself
When angry, your mind will be occupied with nothing other than whatever irked you. The best thing to practice at this moment is to distract yourself with absolutely anything else. Hum a tune, try remembering a song’s lyrics, take 5–10 deep breaths, and maybe even get some fresh air.
A change of scenario will help your stress levels fall and eventually help you see things with more clarity and calmness.
7. Don’t Fight Dirty
When we see that someone has disappointed us, we react angrily to express our disappointment. Usually, people get filled with a vengeance while expressing their distaste and resort to dirty tactics like blaming, interpreting, diagnosing, labeling, moralizing, threatening, ridiculing and lecturing. Remember that whatever you use to avenge the other person will haunt you with regret later.
8. Don’t Make Any Important Decisions
While you are in a fit of rage, your decision-making skills are comparable to that of an alcoholic. Refrain from making life-altering decisions when you are angry as they are likely to be rash. These include getting a tattoo done in rage or succumbing to suicidal tendencies. Always remember that no moment is forever and that applies to whatever you are experiencing currently.
9. Don’t Resort To Physical Assault
Physical assault is a strict no-no. Regardless of how angry you are, blows and words once lashed out cannot be taken back. When your actions are a result of unleashed anger, they are never pleasant. Physical assault can leave scars that are both emotional and physical which makes them hard to forget. This would put more guilt on you as a person and too much strain in your relationship.
10. Don’t Talk Behind The Back
If you are mad at someone, don’t talk about it to the rest of the world other than the individual you had a problem with. This prevents so many silly judgments and rumors from arising. Nowadays, people use various cyber platforms to hurt or taunt others. This is also one example of talking behind the back and is indeed a cowardly act.
That’s all it takes to put a lid on all kinds of anger. Without any second thoughts, start practicing them from today.