In the recent years, sexuality has become a hot topic. We’re learning that people aren’t just straight, gay, or bi. There’s an entire spectrum of sexualities, many of which we didn’t realize existed. Asexuality is one of them.
For most people, asexuality is hard to grasp. This is probably because it’s a misunderstood group. Even scientists are still figuring out a way to explain it. However, the explanation may never be simple. The spectrum of sexuality is highly complex and fluid. The least we can do is educate ourselves about the basics of asexuality. It’s the best way to nurture an open mind.
Asexuality Has No Single Definition
Sexuality is defined by three components: behavior, desire, and identity. In asexuality, a person may lack sexual behavior, lack sexual desire, or identify as an “asexual.” Yet, we don’t know how much these things overlap within the same group. An asexual person might experience one, two, or all
The unclear definition might be because society is yet to establish asexuality. For some time, it was assumed that little to no one is asexual. This presumption included both humans and non-humans! But with heterosexuality, homosexuality, and bisexuality already well-defined, it’s time to learn more about asexuality.1 And in a nutshell, asexuality is not at all black and white.
Asexuals Can Experience Attraction
It’s easy to assume that asexual people aren’t attracted to anyone. But that’s just not true! Occasionally, some asexuals are attracted to someone but have no desire to act on it. Others might only have sex if they want to experiment, while others have sex but don’t find it
Another misconception is that an asexual person is incapable of caring for another person. However, studies have shown otherwise. Some asexuals are emotionally close to people but have zero physical contact. Again, asexuality doesn’t have one definition. Every asexual person experiences it in a different way.
Asexuals Aren’t Sad
Asexuals are perfectly happy and satisfied without romantic or physical relationships and even prefer that.
Our culture associates relationships with happiness. Just take a look at books, movies, or television shows. Even commercials suggest that specific items can win over someone’s affection. In turn, many people think single people are bummed out. Then, what about asexuals, who aren’t longing to be with someone? Asexuals are no different from sexual people who are single, happy, and content.
Take a look at celibacy, a practice that is over 3,000 years old. A majority of celibates are sexual, but some are asexual. But across the board, most individuals report
How To Understand Your Sexuality
Do you think you’re asexual? If so, it’s totally normal to feel confused because sexuality is a complex part of being human. To make things easier, consider meeting a sex therapist. Therapists will help you explore your needs, wants, and desires. But most important, they’ll help you become comfortable with yourself.
If you’re in a relationship, think about how your sexuality might change things. Be open with your partner and express any concerns. Communication is your friend. A relationship can thrive even if someone is asexual. Emotional contact without physical contact may work for some couples. Remember, everyone is different, so do what is best for you.
Do you know someone who is asexual or thinks they might be? Do not judge or comment on them. Instead, ask questions in an open, kind way. You might even help them understand themselves.