Anger is a negative emotion that we experience in response to a situation or person that may be causing us to feel threatened or frustrated. Although feeling anger is normal, in some cases it can get out of control. Experiencing uncontrollable anger constantly may begin to affect our quality of life, relationships, and work. If you’re someone who experiences difficulty in controlling your anger or feel angry too often, here are some tips that may help you out.
1. Breathe Deeply And Count To Ten
The last thing you want to do in a fit of anger is to say something you’re bound to regret. If you feel like you’re going to have an outburst, take a ten second timeout and just focus on your breathing. Several studies have found that deep breathing reduces stress and blood pressure.
2. State And Repeat Calming Words Out Loud
Some studies have found that when individuals repeat positive affirmations out loud, it may have a positive impact on their self-esteem. In a similar manner, repeating calming words out loud in a tense situation may help reduce stress.
3. Visualize A Relaxed Setting
Do you have a happy place? Perhaps thinking about a your dog or picturing yourself in a more relaxed setting can help calm you down when you’re on the verge of an outburst. Several studies have found that owning a pet can reduce blood pressure levels in some individuals.
4. Pause And Think Rationally
Although thinking rationally during a situation that makes your blood boil is easier said than done, try and take a minute to pause and reflect your next move. Try and think about the consequences your present actions may have in the future. Ask yourself, “Will it be worth it?”
5. Remove Yourself From The Situation
Remember that it is always okay to remove yourself from the situation if you feel like things are getting out of hand. Many people don’t do this because they don’t want to supposedly “run away” from the situation. But in reality, you may not be “running away” at all. You might just be making a smarter and more beneficial decision for all parties involved.
6. Once You’ve Calmed Down, Express Your Thoughts
Expressing your anger when you’re in a highly volatile state might not be the most productive way to get the desired message across. But this does not mean you should never express yourself. Once you have managed to calm down, ensure that you express how you feel. It is more likely that you’re thoughts will be appreciated when expressed in a non-threatening manner.
7. Don’t Play The Blame Game
When you are expressing your anger after having calmed down, be sure to use ‘I’ statements. Express how you felt during the the situation and explain why you felt that way. For example, it’s better to say “I felt hurt by what you did” rather than to say “ You’re an insensitive person”.
8. Practice Yoga And Meditation
Many people have used yoga and meditation as tools to deal with their anger issues. People have found meditation to help with the underlying emotional and psychological factors causing anger. Practicing mindfulness and deep breathing have been shown to cause significant improvement in people who had difficulties in controlling their temper.
9. Identify The Root Cause Of Your Anger
If you’re someone with chronic anger issues, it is essential to find out what is causing your anger. It is highly likely that the events of outbursts that you have had, have a common causative link. Perhaps you feel powerless in certain situations or perhaps you want to gain control of your environment. Whatever the cause, awareness is vital when it comes to dealing with the problem.
10. You Can Always Ask For Help
If you’re finding it difficult to work out your anger issues on your own, you can always ask for help. Talk to a therapist about your specific issue and they should be able to help you learn to control it or to help resolve the root cause. Just keep in mind that you don’t necessarily have to go through this process alone.