Women don’t choose to be in abusive relationships out of their willingness. Women often get trapped in such relationships. It is difficult for people to understand if they haven’t been in a dysfunctional relationship themselves. There are definite signs that can hint towards the fact that a person is abusive and dysfunctional. But not everyone is aware enough to recognize them. Also, an abusive person will generally hide his or her dark side in the beginning of a relationship. Abusive individuals like to lure innocent people into falling in love with them and then they unleash their beastly side on to them.
It is important to remember that not all abuse has to be physical. Abuse can be mental, emotional and economical as well. An abusive person can use different ways to exert control over their partners in a relationship. Sometimes, people can fail to recognize abuse as it might not be very apparent. Abuse can be either overt or covert. Overt kind of abuse would be very out and loud, whereas covert would be veiled. Covert kind of abuse often makes the victim question their own judgment and sanity. It is important for a person to get out of such toxic relationships. It can be a very difficult thing to do. But these below steps can help a victim to get out of an abusive relationship.
1. Recognize Abuse
The first step towards getting out of a murky relationship is to recognize that it is a murky relationship. It is important that a victim recognizes the signs of abuse in his or her relationship. An abusive partner will show behavioral traits like being controlling of his or her partner. An abusive partner will try to isolate the victim from others and is likely to blame others for his or her bad behavior. Such an individual can have violent outbursts and can even harm animals. So, it is important to see through these behaviors and take a decision to get out.
2. Avoid Getting In Fights
It is important to disengage yourself from fights. An abuser uses confrontation as an opportunity to dominate the victim. So, avoid getting into fights completely. This will help you to gain back your power.
3. Start Saving
It is important for you to have enough savings if you are planning to move out. Abusers often use financial dependency as a tool to dominate over or control their victims. So, start saving secretly before you can move out.
4. Start Creating Alibis
It is important that you document your abuse for proof. No action can be taken against an abuser if there are no proofs of their misdeeds. So, take photos of your wounds, keep screenshots of their abusive messages and find a confidant to share your troubles with. You can use all these as proofs against your abusive partner later if things go legal.
5. Have A Backup Place
You need to prepare yourself for the worst. So, make sure you have a safe place to go to in case things go colossally wrong, especially if you have kids. Get help from your friends and relatives. Make sure to keep a spare key of your safe place with you if you are planning to stay at a relative’s or friend’s place for emergencies.
6. Restraining Order Always A Go-To
You can think ahead and get movers to help you out with moving your stuffs. But this might not go down easily with your abusive partner. So, make sure you inform the police beforehand and have someone there with you for unexpected situations. You can get a restraining order against your abusive partner if you feel threatened. This will give you more confidence and power to make the change.
7. Allow Yourself To Recover
An abusive relationship can take a toll on the emotions and personality of a person. It takes time to get over the trauma and hurt. So, allow yourself to mourn. It will help you to heal. Time is the biggest healer. So, give yourself that. It is alright to seek help if you are too over-whelmed from the trauma. Therapy can help you to find clarity to heal and move on.
Remember, you are not alone in this battle. There are people who love you and will help to overcome your troubles. So, don’t lose your faith and strength.