The topic of sex is not something we can have a regular conversation about. Maybe it is due to the age-old taboos surrounding the idea of sex, or just the problems of unprotected sex. The sexual response is developed in young adults during puberty and it is common. This is the time when the hormones start to do their magic, and people want to explore their sexual boundaries.
However, sex isn’t something you do for someone else, or to prove a point. You need to feel comfortable with your partner, be able to discuss things with them and feel safe with them in order to truly enjoy sex. If you are considering having sex, it may be worthwhile to speak to an adult you trust about how you are feeling, as well as to discuss safe sex practices. Here’s how to know if you are truly ready for sex.
1. When You Know About STDs
It may be gross but sex with an unknown partner can lead to sexually transmitted diseases. Some of them can be just gross and uncomfortable, but others like HIV are quite dangerous.1 Knowing about these STDs helps you make a wise decision about whether or not you should be having unprotected sex with a partner.
2. Importance Of Using Contraceptives
Unwanted pregnancies are sadly a very real consequence of unprotected sex. Barrier methods like condoms prevent pregnancy as well as the transmission of some STDs. Before you get carried away or feel compelled to do something you may not be ready for, you need to understand that being pregnant at a very young age, or before you are ready to support yourself and the child, can pose a problem on your ambitions and future. If you do decide to have sex, use contraception. And remember, contraceptives are not just a woman’s job.2
3. Not Being Pressured To Do It
Sex is an organic part of a healthy relationship. It should be a natural response and should not be tried out of curiosity, or because you feel like not having sex will undermine your position among your peers. Some people may also experience frigidity or revulsion to sex because of what they have heard or experienced earlier in life.
It is important that you seek counseling for your own sexual well-being in order to be comfortable with the idea of sex, or even the lack of it. If your partner is forcing you to have sex, or if you feel like a much older adult is talking sexually to you, do report the matter to a counselor or the police.3
4. When Your Partner Is Ready
It may often be the case that one sexual partner is always more excited by the idea of sex than another. In such cases, time is of the essence, and we mean the giving kind. If you feel like you are ready for sex but your partner isn’t, emotionally blackmailing them, threatening them with consequences or withholding your love towards them are terrible things to do. Instead, try and build a stronger relationship with your partner so they may feel safe with you. Sex will happen organically when both of you are ready.
5. Knowing The Importance Of Hygiene
Hygiene is the most important aspect when it comes to all the problems that sex can give you. This includes STDs and other complications of sex. You don’t want to aggravate the situation by being unhygienic. Take a shower before sex, and make sure your genitals are clean even if you practice unprotected sex. Making sure if your partner is also hygienic is your responsibility too since it’s a mutual act. Being clean will make your partner comfortable and makes the experience a pleasurable one as it’s supposed to be.
While it may not seem like a good idea, having a responsible adult you can confide in is a good place to start talking about the sexual experience and understanding all you need to. This can be a parent, an older sibling, a counselor or a teacher you trust. Never trust strangers with sensitive information, and people you meet online never come under the category of people you can share your secrets with, however much it may seem like they understand you.