Negative thoughts are almost always automatic. We don’t always realize when we do it because most times, the thoughts have become a habit. When something threatens us or when something goes wrong, negative thinking acts as a defense against any pain we face, but before we know it, these thoughts rule our life and take over our perspective. Our brain on autopilot becomes more negative than positive, and we believe that we have no control over them, but this is not true. We are the only ones that have power over our thoughts, but we may not always realize what thoughts are actually causing us harm. Once you know which thoughts are the culprit, you can work on changing them for the better. If you find yourself thinking along these lines, you are letting toxic thoughts take over you:
Things can go right sometimes, but things can also go wrong. When we face failure, it is easy to decide that we aren’t worth anything. However, we must remember that it’s not our failures that define us, it is how we handle them. Every one in this world has faced a failure or made a mistake, but we find ways to overcome them and grow. Don’t assume that you have no worth just because you are human.
I’m Not Good Enough
One of the most potent toxic thoughts is the belief that you aren’t going to be good enough to take on a new challenge that comes your way. This belief sometimes even works as a self-fulfilling prophecy: you have a new opportunity, you believe that you aren’t good enough to succeed, you don’t put in the effort because you expect failure, and in the end, fail anyway, so you blame it on not being good enough. Have confidence in yourself and your abilities. Through hard work and pushing yourself forward, you will reach your goal.
I Won’t Be Happy Until…
Putting limitations on when you can be happy and what will make you happy is a terrible trap to set up for yourself. Happiness isn’t an elusive or conditional emotion, it can be found in this very moment. The small things, like eating your favorite dish, or talking to your best friend over the phone, can be the best sources of happiness. By believing that only some achievement or milestone will bring happiness, we don’t appreciate what is right in front of us.
I’m Not Good At Anything
This thought keeps us in the same place, and doesn’t give us any scope for growth. We end up feeling bad and then lament, but we never let ourselves do anything about it. Make a list of the things you enjoy doing, and practice it every day. As long as you find enjoyment in an activity, you will be able to achieve excellence through practice and hard work. Even the greatest expert was once an amateur.
No One Likes Me
It is an inherent need to feel like you belong, but sometimes, you might just be with the wrong people. If you constantly feel like your friends are putting you down or making you feel bad, it might be time to find new and better friends. Before someone accepts you, however, you need to accept yourself. Once you accept who you are stop chasing after people, you can see that the right people come to you and love you for who you are.
It’s Too Late To Change
It may be the voice of your family, friends or society that tells you it is too late to do anything, and they are dead wrong. If you have a dream, you can chase after it no matter how old you are or what you have done in the past. It is never too late to start over and do things right again. At the end of the day, it is only you who is standing in the way of yourself.
I’m Lagging Far Behind
Finally, you may be thinking you’re doing something wrong because you are the only one of your friends that doesn’t have a partner yet, or that you’re the only one who doesn’t have a glitzy job that pays well. This comparison with other people can be deadly though, and can majorly affect your self esteem. Everyone works according their own timeline, and everyone has different battles to fight. Someone might achieve success early in life, and others much later. Stop comparing your life to others’, and let things take their time to come to you.