It’s funny that even with apps like Tinder and shows like Game of Thrones, we can still be hush hush about sex. Maybe it’s what we’ve been told as we were growing up, or what our schools taught us, but sex doesn’t have to be a shameful and weird thing. As long as consent is present between two partners and no one is getting hurt, it’s okay for us to get down and dirty without feeling guilty about it. There are things we think we shouldn’t do, but sex is the one thing where we should have freedom to choose what we want. It’s the most intimate act of all, and our control and our say should matter the most. So go ahead and enjoy yourself openly, and don’t apologize if you want to do any of these things:
Not Liking Something You’re “Supposed” To
Thanks to porn and raunchy sex scenes in movies, we feel like there are some things we are required to like and do. The belief that oral sex is a necessity, or you need to push your sexual boundaries to incorporate acts that make you uncomfortable is false. There are an array of sexual preferences, and instead of looking at what you DON’T like, try to find things you DO enjoy in bed.
Having A Fetish
Fetishes are as normal as having sex, so you don’t need to worry about having one. Moreover, they don’t need to be a reflection of who you are outside the bedroom. You aren’t an anti-feminist if you like being dominated by your partner, you’re not weird for wanting to role play, and you’re certainly not doing anything wrong by dominating someone else. As long as you and your partner enjoy how things play out and have mutual consent, you’re good to go.
Giving Instructions
Our partners can’t read our minds, so it should be up to us to guide them. So many people have been told that doing this can make you seem bossy or it’s a mood killer, but how else are they going to know what you like and what you don’t? If someone’s ego gets bruised because of what you said, this is because of their own insecurities and not because of you.
Using Toys
A large number of women have a really hard time achieving an orgasm, so it’s alright to incorporate something during sex that can solve that problem. Once again, if men feel like this hurts their ego in some way, this isn’t your problem but theirs. Sex is an act that should be enjoyable for both parties, not just one, and for all your partner knows, this could be a great thing for both of your sex lives.
Stopping Midway
If you realize half-way through that you’re just not into it, you can ask your partner to stop regardless of how he/she might feel. Consent is important in sex, and it doesn’t mean that it can’t be revoked. If you feel like something isn’t working out, or something isn’t right, you have every right to stop.
Speaking Up When You Don’t Like Something
This is especially true if you’re feeling pain in a particular position, or if you feel uncomfortable about something your partner is doing. Sex is an imperfect act, and there are bound to be some things that just don’t work for you. A good partner can take this feedback as constructive criticism, and use it to make both your sex lives better.
Initiating Sex
Many women wait for men to make the first move instead of making it themselves because it’s the “man’s domain”. Moreover, many women also think that it makes them seem “slutty” or “too forward” if they initiate sex, but this assertiveness is actually super sexy. Men like it when women can express their desires confidently.
Being A Little Selfish
Sometimes, you have to be a little selfish in bed to get the most out of the experience. Again, a lot of women have a hard time reaching climax so it helps when a woman wants her partner to spend more time on her, or when she chooses her favorite position, or even if she has to take matters into her own hands. At the end of the day, mutual satisfaction is as important as mutual consent.
Sleeping With Whomever You Want
Finally, you are allowed to sleep with whomever you want, when you want to. Many women think that sleeping with their partner on the first date automatically removes any chances of a relationship, or that a one night stand is something shameful, but these things just aren’t true. You have sexual freedom and liberty to make your own choices, and there is nothing shameful about that at all.
