As a new mom, you might have enjoyed all the special caring. Everyone is concerned about your emotional and physical well-being. But, what about your partner, the new father? His tribe often fails to get the deserved recognition. Fatherhood is challenging for him. Like you, he also struggles during the initial days of parenting. The roller coaster ride of parenting will be easier if you know more about him as a father.
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1. He Lacks Confidence
How scared are you about nurturing your newborn? Most new moms like you are nervous, confused and stressed. Well then, imagine the plight of the dad-to-be who does not have any natural instincts of a mother. He might be the bravest boy for you. But, when it comes to parenting, both of you are on the same board. Panicked, like you, he may shy away from taking care of the baby. His lack of experience is what stopping him, not his lack of love for your baby.
The support you get from the vast network of friends and family should be extended to your partner. He is also new to the experience of fatherhood. Talk to him about his fears. Share your experiences. Do not make him feel that you have high expectations from his as a father. This will help him relax and prepare to welcome his little one.
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2. He Needs Guidance
Do not expect the new dad to be an expert in baby care. He might have read baby magazines or attended prenatal classes with you. But, he needs help from you to apply the theories. He may have ideas about changing diapers and holding your baby. However, when he has the little one in his hands, the feel is different. He forgets everything and gets perplexed. This is where you need to step in.
You know your man more than anyone. He may not like to accept that he is bad at these things. He may not want to see himself as a bad father. Before he gets exhausted, extend your helping hand. Give him guidance when he struggles. Share tips in changing diapers, burping, and bathing. Build his confidence. Let him know you care.
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3. He Misses You
As the challenges you face as a new mom are enormous, you may find it difficult to spend time with your partner. Your activities revolve around the baby. And your partner may feel left out. He will miss the good old times with you. He may want to get back those intimate moments. He knows that you will not be interested in sex immediately after childbirth. But, they long for holding your hands or cuddling on the couch.
Make sure that he spends time with you and baby. Encourage him to get involved with the baby more. His active participation in nurturing the baby will be beneficial in developing a father-baby bond. He will, thus, realize that he is also part of child upbringing. He will also understand the bonding that happens between the mother and baby.
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4. He Needs Time To Adjust
The transformation as a mother is easy for you. As you breastfeed the baby, the bonding happens naturally. But, this does not occur with the new dad. He needs time to take up the responsibilities of a father.
Do not criticize if he does something wrong. Keep in mind that learning comes from trial and error. Give him ample time to take on the new role. Over a period of time, he will gradually develop confidence.
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5. He Needs Appreciation
Nothing is easy for you when you raise a newborn. You get exhausted physically and emotionally, as you sail through motherhood. As a result, you may fail to see the hardships your partner goes through during the same period. He may not be able to read your mind and do things the way you want. But, with his limited knowledge and experience, he may make best efforts to keep you and the baby happy.
Acknowledge and appreciate his efforts. Positive reinforcement is one way to encourage him. If you do not support him, he will back off. You are in a way stopping him from helping you. And, thus, you will end up all alone in baby care.
Parenting is a challenging task. Lack of understanding between partners will make it worse. Remember that your partner may find it difficult to cope with the new circumstances. By supporting and encouraging him you can bring out the best in him.
