When it comes to homosexuality, a lot of people wonder how gay people get sexual gratification. Not everyone knows how gay men or lesbians have sex, and often don’t understand the more subtle aspects of their sexual relationships too, such as emotional bonding. Moreover, there are a lot of misconceptions about how the actual sexual act happens (lesbians don’t really scissor as often as you think they do, for example). Lesbians do have sex though, and it’s often great sex too. Because it’s sex between two women, they are able to understand sex differently and sometimes better than people who have straight sex. Lesbians have a few things to teach us for sure:
1. There’s Nothing Wrong With Communication
A lot of male egos are bruised when they’re told what to do better or where they’re going wrong in bed. There have been countless fights over this issue, and many people believe that talking during sex can be a real turn-off. No one is born an expert at having sex though, and everyone has different sexual preferences, so why does talking about it have to be so bad? If you want something from your partner, you just need to ask. Waiting for them to maybe hit the spot as you go along, or guess correctly without knowing what you like won’t work out well for either of you. Communication is a great thing, and is only going to help both parties as you continue the relationship.
2. Know Yourself Well
Sure, we want to make sure we have great sex with someone each time we do it, but how many of us really know what is great for us and what isn’t? A lot of us rely on sexual experiences with other people to help us figure out what we like and what we don’t, but giving ourselves the time and space to do some solo exploration can be the best thing for our sex life too. We don’t need to wait around for a partner to find out something that we can find for ourselves.
3. Foreplay Is Extremely Important
Though this fact has been stated in multiple articles across sites, a lot of people still think sex is just penetration and spend no more than a few minutes (or sometimes none at all) on foreplay. Not only does it bring down the intensity and enjoyment for women, but it can be too aggressive, rushed and painful for them if it’s solely penetration. However, penetration isn’t the go to option for lesbians, so they spend ample time on foreplay and this can make all the difference between not-too-bad sex and mind-blowing sex. Take some time to tease and caress your partner during foreplay; it helps to build each other up to a significantly more intense orgasm.
4. Sex Doesn’t Just Have To Be Physical
The popular cliche goes that a lesbian brings a U-Haul to the second date, essentially meaning that lesbians are quick to commit and become serious in a relationship. This isn’t to say that everyone should be thinking of moving in with someone after their second date or after they have sex with someone for the first time, but the proverb essentially states that you can always be open to some sort of an emotional connection even if you’re having sex for the physical gratification. Being open emotionally does not mean that you need to date someone or be in a relationship with them, but just that there is more to a person than the body they provide for sex.
5. Orgasming Isn’t A Race
Women definitely take longer to orgasm than men, and this is seen as a disadvantage by a lot of men because they really just want to orgasm without spending too much time and energy. This means that women are constantly being asked “Are you there yet?” or “Have you orgasmed?” even when they’re not even close, and the incessant questioning certainly doesn’t help. This makes women feel like an orgasm is timed, and they have only a certain period in which they can do it. Sex’s end goal is definitely the mutual satisfaction of orgasm, but there is also so much more to it. It isn’t the most fun thing in the wold because it ends with a great bang, but because the journey towards the bang can be varied, adventurous, experimental, and the only time and place where you can try to address your every sexual desire. The orgasm is the delicious cherry on top of a moist, chocolate cake.