The word ‘tantra’ comes from Indian and Buddhist religious traditions. While most people equate it to ritual sex, tantra has much broader and wider application in the eastern traditions. Like most Indian yogic practices, tantra is also aimed at heightening an individual’s experience and awareness. The idea of tantra in relation to sex is to use physical intimacy to reach a higher plane of energy with the help of your partner. Tantric sex can also help you build deep spiritual bonds with your partner. If you’re new to this concept, here are a few steps to get you started.
1. Massage One Another
Starting with a massage means feeling the body of your partner through touch like a blind person trying to figure out the contours of a face. In tantric sex, however, your eyes need to be wide open. Make your partner feel totally relaxed and ready to give and receive energy. Try to massage along the spine in accordance with the chakras; this will help reawaken kundalini and prepare both of you for a spiritual experience.
2. Lock Eyes And Breathe Deeply
There is a lot of importance on the breath in the eastern traditions because the breath is what connects us to the life force. Focusing on breath creates a deep level of intimate contact. This alone can open your heart to feeling closer, more loving and more forgiving. Breathing deeply also allows you to slow down and explore the sensual range of your bodies and minds.
So make sure you breathe deep and look into each other’s eyes without looking away even for a moment. The attention you give one another allows you to connect on the deepest level possible, making intimacy even more sacred. Synchronizing your breathing with your partner’s by inhaling when your partner breathes out and vice versa. The sharing of breath helps you share yourself with your partner completely.
3. Focus On Your Partner
Tantric sex works only when you’re completely open with your partner. You need to be open physically, mentally, and spiritually. Secrets hold you back with you being conscious of it. To feel totally comfortable with your partner, turn your attention toward taking in everything about him or her; the contours of their face, the varying shades of color in their eyes, the way their skin feels, etc. Try and notice the tiny details that you wouldn’t have consciously seen before.
This is why it is important to keep your eyes open during tantric sex. Most people tend to close their eyes when having sex but in tantra, you are trying to be completely open and aware through an intimate bond. Do not force yourself to pay attention but make sure you’re open experiencing every single sensory stimulus.
4. Get Into An Intimate Embrace
In Tibetan iconography, there is something called the yab-yum symbol. It represents the primordial union of wisdom and compassion, depicted as a male deity in sexual union with his female consort. It is an embrace between you and your partner at the highest level of intimacy. You can either sit cross-legged directly across from your partner with your knees touching, sit with your legs wrapped around the other person’s torso, or sit in your partner’s lap with your legs totally wrapped around each other. When you get into the embrace, continue looking into each other’s eyes and practicing the “breathe in, breathe out” technique. Breathe deeply all the way into your belly.
5. Take It Slow And Easy
Most people know sex as a vigorous activity and equate passion to being physically active. Tantric sex is like more like relaxing in the bath tub and not like a quick shower. There is no rush to achieve orgasm. Instead, fully embrace your partner, kissing and caressing him or her and enjoying the full experience. Intercourse does follow but in a more conscious and aware manner than usual. Try to remain in a state of arousal as long as possible. It might be difficult because you’re used to getting it done in the heat of the moment but with practice, you will be able to remain aroused for a longer time.