While this article focuses on the female orgasm, it is an informative read for anyone wondering why they or their partner is unable to reach orgasm during intercourse. Only about 10% of all women reportedly have an orgasm. Also, as compared to a male orgasm which is very obvious physically, a female orgasm is much more internal, and even more of a cultural taboo. If you feel like you are not reaching orgasm, think through if one of these reasons applies to you.
1. Hormones Are Awry
The role of estrogen in orgasm is being studied only now, but there is reason to believe that abnormal and subnormal levels of estrogen in the body can cause you to not have an orgasm. These can easily be tested in a lab and treated with the right hormone supplements.1
2. Anxiety Plays A Role
Women who have had to suppress their sexuality due to a variety of reasons often find that anxiety has a role to play. Anorgasma, as the lack of an orgasm is medically known, is closely linked with psychology and cognition. This is one reason why women who have otherwise shown sexual intent may sometimes ‘freeze up’. Anxiety, fear, doubts about their appearance, etc. can all keep a woman from reaching orgasm. Cognitive therapy and directed masturbation show good results.2
3. Urinary Incontinence Could Be Responsible
Simply put, incontinence is a condition wherein the sufferer has trouble controlling their bladder. Even simple jerks and sneezing can cause urine to leak out of the bladder. Some women develop incontinence after childbirth. Some studies have shown that urinary incontinence and orgasm are closely linked, as are all the muscles in the pelvic regions. Counselling and kegel exercises can help in mild to moderate cases.3
4. Could It Be Guilt?
Culturally and socially, women are often stigmatized for the number of sexual partners they have had. This perceived guilt can have a huge impact on orgasm in women. Like anxiety, feelings of guilt can interfere with the perception of pleasure, which is what an orgasm basically is. This issue is most commonly observed in women who have been told that they are too promiscuous. Therapy and counselling can help tackle these issues and have a healthy sexual relationship.4
5. Your Heels May Be The Culprit
Don’t we all just love wearing stilettos? However, they may be damaging your spine, and in turn your sexual life, immensely. Studies on women with even the mildest of spinal cord injuries have shown that women with a cord injury have a lot of trouble reaching an orgasm.5 Stilettos put a lot of undue pressure on the spinal discs, and may thus be contributing to the problem in secret.
Other aspects such as too little sleep, too much stress and a lack of exercise can also result in not reaching an orgasm during intercourse. If the issue is persistent, seek the help of a doctor.
|↑1||IsHak, Waguih William, Anna Bokarius, Jessica K. Jeffrey, Michael C. Davis, and Yekaterina Bakhta. “Disorders of orgasm in women: A literature review of etiology and current treatments.” The journal of sexual medicine 7, no. 10 (2010): 3254-3268.|
|↑2||Meston, Cindy M., Elaine Hull, Roy J. Levin, and Marca Sipski. “Disorders of orgasm in women.” The Journal of Sexual Medicine 1, no. 1 (2004): 66-68.|
|↑3||Handa, Victoria L., Lynn Harvey, Geoffrey W. Cundiff, Sohail A. Siddique, and Kristen H. Kjerulff. “Sexual function among women with urinary incontinence and pelvic organ prolapse.” American journal of obstetrics and gynecology 191, no. 3 (2004): 751-756.|
|↑4||Davidson, J. Kenneth, and Nelwyn B. Moore. “Guilt and lack of orgasm during sexual intercourse: Myth versus reality among college women.” Journal of Sex Education and Therapy 20, no. 3 (1994): 153-174.|
|↑5||Sipski, Marca L., Craig J. Alexander, and Raymond C. Rosen. “Orgasm in women with spinal cord injuries: a laboratory-based assessment.” Archives of Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation 76, no. 12 (1995): 1097-1102.|