I used to have a really crappy attitude a lot. I used to let every single detail of my life, and even other people’s lives really (REALLY) get to me. Because of this, my general mood was really bad and because of this simple truth, my life was not great.
The thing is though…that my life actually was great. I just couldn’t see that because there were so many other things clouding my vision, preventing me from recognizing another simple truth: my life could be so much more if only I could learn to appreciate it.
I am dealing with someone difficult right now. I’ve become spoiled. Because I have built my life in such a way that supports my approach to relationships: if what we are building is not conducive to my overall growth and well-being, I’m cutting the cord. Because people can be the best, but they can also be the worst, and who needs that crap? My life is full enough with too much good to let in unnecessary bad.
Anyway, people with crappy attitudes are draining. Nothing is ever enough or even right because they aren’t even sure what the hell they’re searching for or need to “feel better”. So no matter what, if you don’t live in that place of misery with them, they will be constantly sucking your energy out like a vampire awakening from a decade-long hibernation.
You Can’t Have A Positive Life With A Negative Mind
My approach to the situation is the same as my approach always is, I refuse to let other people change who I am because of their decisions. Because of this, I am fine, still stable to the core, but I know not everyone lives here. And even if we do live here most of the time, reminders are nice also. Because, life.
So I’m back, for the first time in quite awhile, to post about choosing a mindset that is conducive to your own personal growth, and overall well-being. One of the quickest ways we can change our mindset is to be intentional about our thoughts. When I knew I was ready for a change, I started with gratitude. Oddly enough, I am doing a gratitude challenge right now with some amazing people… always working on staying in that positive mindset for a happy, full life.
We live in bubbles, we really do. We see what other people live or suffer through, or even have memories of what we have suffered through, but it’s easy to forget all of that when we are in our beautiful safe homes, in soft clothes we love, on our comfy couch, watching whatever we want, with a cup of hot tea. When we forget everything we have, all of the daily fortunes, that make our lives so much easier and so much better, it suddenly isn’t enough anymore. We get so used to waking up with the person we handpicked from all the rest, that it suddenly isn’t enough anymore. We get so used to having a nice, working vehicle to take us to a job that allows us to make a living and eat whatever we want, and suddenly it isn’t enough anymore. We don’t spend countless days/nights/weeks/months at the hospital with poor health or sick children, yet we don’t take time out of the day to love our bodies or to lift our children up.
And that turns into a constant cycle of unhappiness followed by trying to fill the void with things, and more, and changing constantly… maybe it’s a new diet, or giving something up, or adding something in, or a local workout class you will commit to but give up on after 2 weeks. Because nothing is filling that void and no matter what you do, you still feel empty.
Change Your Mindset
Most people, at this point, start micro-managing every single aspect of their lives. Because our brain tells us if we have more control, maybe, just maybe, THEN we can fill that void and finally be happy. So everything that doesn’t matter begins to take precedent over everything that does matter, and things fall even further out of balance. At this point, you are unhappy, you are angry but maybe you aren’t sure why… you might blame the laundry but it isn’t really about the laundry. It’s about you. You might blame other people in your life, but it isn’t about them either. It’s still about you. And it will continue to be about you until you choose to fix it. Period. There is no shortcut and there is no other way around this.
A positive mindset is easy to achieve if you are willing to commit a small amount of effort daily. Even if you start out by only spending 5-minutes a day focusing on being grateful for the life you have, that’s 1,825 minutes of gratitude per year. It adds up?
Simple Ways To Be More Positive
- Start a gratitude journal. Writing is good for the soul. Spend 5-minutes each morning or each night (or both, you badass!) writing about or listing what you are grateful for that day. When you sit down and think about it, you’ll begin to realize the magnitude of this activity.
- Write one thank you note, every day for a week, to people who really mean something to you. Send the notes at the end of the week. Feel the love.❤
- Smile. Did you know that just smiling can actually change your mood? It’s so easy. Just do it already.
- This is a great start. Let it grow from here and watch your life change in major ways. Just from these simple, non-time-consuming acts.