Marriage is hard to maintain, but the process is supposed to be worth it. However, it is popularly believed that one in two marriages end in divorce, and this is an alarming number. Often, unhappiness and resentment builds up in a marriage, and because neither couple wants to address the issues, it can become fatal for the relationship. The number of divorces may be high because a bad relationship is not recognized in its early stages. It is important that we understand that sometimes divorces are necessary, and bad relationships and marriages need to be accepted because neither party can be happy until they are separated and take time away from each other. For this, we need to know what signs to look out for. Below are some subtle but significant markers of a bad marriage or relationship. If you think that your relationship might be suffering and falls into these points, it might be time to rethink being with your partner:
1. Keeping Secrets
While it is true that every one should and can have some secrets from their partner, it becomes a problem when even small things can’t be mentioned because it might result in negativity. Your partner may bully you or insult you for small things, like buying yourself a present, meeting an old friend, or for getting a drink with your colleague after work. This might cause you to almost always lie about your whereabouts and your activities, and this is extremely unhealthy. A good partner does not belittle or berate someone for having a life of their own, and if your partner does not let you be who you are, you might want to consider finding someone better.
2. Fear Of Rage
If your partner has had anger issues that make you afraid for your safety, you are definitely with the wrong person. Anger and rage results in many forms of abuse, be it physical, verbal or emotional, and this might make you feel powerless. Small or minor things might set your partner off, and you might even know that they are overreacting to a trivial matter. You tend to walk on egg shells around your partner to avoid any conflict, and are always careful and afraid of what you are saying. This stress and fear takes a toll on your health.
3. Forcing Yourself To Have Sex
Passion and romance don’t always last in relationships, and you might be averse to the idea of sex with your partner completely in a bad marriage or relationship. You might be conditioned to think that you are required to have sex with your partner just because you are married to them, and tend to get drunk before you do so that you get yourself through it. This is problematic behavior; sex is huge part of any relationship, and if you don’t want to anymore, you shouldn’t be forced to. It might be time to rethink the relationship if you feel no attraction or sexual excitation for your partner.
4. Passive-Aggressive Behavior
There is outright aggression, and then there is passive-aggressive behavior. Both of these behaviors can be extremely hurtful. It is normal to snap at each other once in a while, but if this pattern continues too often, it creates cracks in a relationship’s foundation. In a bad marriage, every small oversight or mistake comes with a passive-aggressive comment which eventually leads to a big fight that creates more issues than it resolves. Many comments are said solely to devalue or belittle you, and can result is loss of confidence and lower self-esteem.
5. Strong Resentment
In a bad marriage, strong resentment takes over every other aspect of the relationship, to the point that nothing positive is ever said. Every small act comes with a comment or an insult, and this becomes too much to handle for the both of you. It may even feel like the resentment is almost tangible, and it eats away at you inside. If you are constantly thinking “Why am I putting up with this? I deserve better”, then you are right. It might be time to move on.