We live in a constant need for change. Moving from one side to another, shifting from left to right, scrambling between what is right and wrong, and this has brought nothing but brief, momentary joy. For instance, after sitting for a long time cross-legged, we feel great relief when we unfold our legs. But the relief is momentary and we want to change our position again. We keep changing, seeking pleasure, comfort and satisfaction, which often is short-lived. As human beings we deserve a middle way – an open state of mind that can relax with paradox and ambiguity.
The middle way is wide open, but has a tough going. It goes against the very nature of our neurotic programming. When we feel hurt, lost or lonely, our immediate reaction is to move. Move in any direction that takes us away from feeling them. We move or try to move away from the feeling. The middle way, however, encourages to go through the feelings. Certain feelings, though, seem particularly charged with a need for resolution – like loneliness, boredom, anxiety.
Following Are The Six Ways Of Explaining This Kind Of Cool Loneliness:
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1. Practice Less Desire
Less Desire is the willingness to be lonely without resolution, even when everything in us longs for something to cheer us up and change our mood. Once we
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2. Find Contentment
When we have nothing, we have nothing to lose. We are, however, programmed to feel that we have a lot to lose. This feeling that we have lot to lose is rooted in fear. Fear of change, of anything that can’t be resolved, of loneliness or even nonexistence. Giving up believing that we are capable of escaping loneliness will bring lasting happiness or joy or sense of well-being. Contentment is the synonym for loneliness, cool loneliness, settling down with cool loneliness. Contentment is just being lonely with no alternative, content to be right here with what’s happening.
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3. Eliminate Unnecessary Activities
When lonely, we look for a way out. We look for something to save us from the loneliness. We feel uneasy when lonely, and we try to come up with companions to save us from feeling it. That’s called an unnecessary activity. An activity which we seek to keep ourselves busy so don’t have to feel the pain of loneliness. It could range from obsessing over true romance and making a gossip into an important news, to taking off into the wilderness alone. Relaxing with loneliness will stop you from seeking the usual, repetitive ways of distancing ourselves from loneliness.
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4. Complete Discipline
Complete discipline means that we‘re willing to come back, just gently come back to the present moment at every opening. It’s realising that we are fundamentally alone and there is nothing anywhere to hold on to. It allows us to finally discover a complete unfabricated
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5. Not Wandering In The World Of Desire
Wandering in the world of desire involves looking for alternatives, seeking something to comfort us, be it food, drink, people or anything comforting. The word “desire” encompasses the quality of addiction, the way we grab for something because we want to find a way to make things okay. Not wandering in the world of desire is about relating directly with how things are. It is realising that loneliness is not a problem and it is nothing to be solved. The same goes with any other experience in life.
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6. Not Seeking Security From One’s Discursive Thoughts
With cool loneliness we do