Are you and your partner not indulging in an occasional action between the sheets? Has it been a while since your last time? While it’s perfectly normal to have a dip in sexual desire, it can be frustrating and worrisome for the other person.
Here are a few things you can do to overcome a dry spell in your marriage.
1. Just Do It
Social psychologists have revealed sometimes it’s a good idea to have sex with your partner even if you are not in the mood. The research claims that people who indulge in satisfying their partner’s needs feel good about having sex and about the relationship in general. It also revealed that people who are less motivated to satisfy their partner’s needs, wouldn’t be interested in sex when they aren’t in the mood and it could negatively impact their relationship.
The doctor’s advice is to have sex even if you aren’t in the mood for it. You might feel better about sex after doing the deed. Needless to say, sex needs to be consensual and free from any coercion.1
2. Be Honest
If you are going through a long dry spell with your partner, it’s probably time to talk things over. You know it’s not a question about love. So, what else is it? It could be unresolved fights, feeling neglected, or maybe they are hurt over something. People have certain expectations of what a marriage should be and these new feelings could be disturbing and disappointing. It’s a huge sigh of relief once you sort out these issues.
If you are the one who isn’t interested in sex, find out what’s bothering you, confide in your partner, and sort out the issue. If you or your partner are experiencing low libido because of other reasons, you might want to check with a doctor.
3. Spice Things Up
Life in the 21st century can be tiring and difficult. Years of work, raising kids, dividing household chores, and general fatigue can take a toll on your sex life. Even the thought of having sex can be tiring for some people. But, you always need to find or make time for your significant other. Passion doesn’t have to be a thing of the past. Find out new and interesting ways to express your feelings. Go for dance classes together. Do couple things (besides chores). Share your sexual fantasies. Play games. Go on a vacation. Take a cruise. Compliment each other. Give random kisses. Give foot massages.
4. Set The Tone Of Your House
Every relationship has a certain setting around them. Make sure your house makes you and partner feel secure, comfortable and loved. Don’t let the home you share with your loved one be hostile and scary. Some couples reveal they don’t take a fight into the bedroom or onto the dining table.
If you ask long-term happy couples, the secret behind their relationship, they would probably say plenty of compromises and cuddles. Hugging each other regularly can make couples more close to each other and secure. A better idea is to ditch those clothes and cuddle your partner in bed. The warmth and closeness are sure to get those moods back in.
Every marriage has a few bumps and every relationship has a unique dynamic. Talk to your partner and let them know what you’re thinking.
|↑1||Day, Lisa C., Amy Muise, Samantha Joel, and Emily A. Impett. “To do it or not to do it? How communally motivated people navigate sexual interdependence dilemmas.” Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 41, no. 6 (2015): 791-804|