Does it feel like you’re seeing happy couples everywhere you go, but you’re struggling with your relationship? Of course, a lot of people seem to be happy just for the show, and a lot of people do it for the likes and comments, which can make you wonder whether there really are happy couples out there. The truth is, a happy relationship is definitely possible and even if it takes a lot of work, it is definitely worth it. It is easy to get lost in the anger and resentment when you have struggled in the past or are struggling right now, but happy couples definitely don’t have it easy, and that certainly doesn’t mean that you can’t have a happy relationship either. Below are some habits that happy couples practice throughout their relationship which can also help you to strengthen your relationship.
1. Shared Goals For The Future
The first and foremost thing that happy partners try to understand about each other is what sort of future they want. The relationship is based on a shared vision; such as if the couple wants kids, where they want to live, how much they want their extended family to be involved in their life, financial planning etc. Even if there is a discrepancy between what the couple wants, they have a healthy discussion about it and find a way to meet half-way or compromise on certain topics and issues. At the end of the day, the couple knows that they are working towards something bigger together, and this shared journey helps them to build a better relationship too.
2. Don’t Judge
Happy couples know that judgment of any sort will always be met with defensiveness, and negatively impacts built intimacy between partners. Judgments make a person feel shame for what they have done, and this takes a toll on the romantic connection between partners. Judgment doesn’t always have to be overt, like “You should never cook, you’re really bad at it.” It can also come veiled in certain comments, such as “Like your choice in food is ever good!”, or “Why did you think this was even a good idea?” These types of comments build a lot of resentment in the other party, and can cause a person to react with negativity that continues as a loop. Happy couples find a constructive way to talk to their partner about anything that bother them, and make sure to never judge the other person for who they are or what they do.
A happy couple knows to let their partner know when they do something right, or when they make their partner happy. This not only makes the other person feel appreciated, it also helps to build strong emotional intimacy and trust among the couple. It’s easy to pick on your partner when you feel like something isn’t right, but not a lot of people actually appreciate their partners for the good things they do. This could also be because doing the right thing is expected from a partner, but this kind of thinking isn’t fruitful to strengthen and maintain a relationship. Happy couples know this, and make an effort to help their partners feel loved and cherished every day.
4. No Controlling Behavior
One of the biggest hindrances in a relationship is a person’s need to control their partner’s behavior. This can have huge consequences on the entire relationship because it leads to a lot of anger and resentment in both parties. It is natural that we feel angry at our partners for certain things, like not cleaning up after themselves, or not helping out around the house, but how we respond to it makes all the difference. We think that by blaming them or berating them, we might make them understand that we are extremely unhappy but this never ends well for anyone. Sitting down and talking calmly to your partner about why they do certain things, and being gentle in the way you try to understand them can make your partner less defensive and more willing to communicate.
Finally, it cannot be stressed enough that healthy communication is the first and foremost trait that needs to develop in a relationship. Not saying something when it needs to be said and hoping that it will go away not only build up a lot of negative emotions, but it acts like a ticking time bomb that can lead to extreme damage. Avoidance won’t get you anywhere, so you can’t always stay silent. Moreover, communicating with respect is the difference between happy couples and not so happy ones. Name calling, shaming or slamming doors and walking out can definitely give you a dramatic effect, but it does not address the root of the pain. Finally, do not ask questions when you want to make statements. When you ask someone a rhetorical question, it not only criticizes them, it is also a passive aggressive attack on them. They won’t want to answer back nicely, and this can quickly unravel into a fight. Healthy communication is the best way to keep a relationship happy and fulfilling for both parties.