The choppy waters of relationships can be difficult to navigate sometimes. This is especially difficult for people who are holding on to unrealistic ideas about love. The most common problem that people have in their relationships is the struggle over control. There is one group of people who believe in being overtly loving and accommodating for their partners and that can often lead to an imbalance in their relationships. Love is a two way street. One giveth and one taketh is not an ideal situation for any relationship.
What is the right way to love in a relationship?
It is not an easy question to answer as there is no standard template for a relationship. But if there is an imbalance in a relationship, then something is not right in that equation. People grow up with different values and their interactions with other people can also change the way they see things. But regardless of everything, it is not okay to think that one person must sacrifice more to sustain a relationship. And if someone is doing that, then it is time to take a step back and contemplate.
Conditions Apply For Unconditional Love
A person who can love another person unconditionally is nothing less than a saint. But if the other person is not respectful about that love, it is important to take a hard look at that relationship. There is nothing purer than unconditional love in this world. It allows us to love another being without expecting anything in return. But is it really a smart investment if the other person is not reciprocating that love?
We must allow ourselves to love and be loved. But at the same time, we must exercise caution as to who we are loving as some people might not be worthy of our love. It may sound harsh but it is the truth. Our ability to love someone shouldn’t come from a space of obliviousness and insecurity of being alone. People who accommodate too much in relationships are often insecure about themselves which is why they tolerate a lot more than what they should. Unconditional love shouldn’t come from a space of insecurity, but rather it should arise from a space of self-love.
We can love others fiercely when we love ourselves. And then we would have a standard for being loved for ourselves as well. People who are confidant in their beings wouldn’t allow others to take them for granted and be treated badly. They will love with all their hearts, but they will expect to be respected for it. Nothing less would impress them. They will not try to make a doomed relationship work because they are scared of being alone. And that is an important lesson.
Free Yourself From The Clutches Of Selfish Love
Selfish people often take advantage of the insecurity of people to get what they want. Such people would try to control their partners by creating a false reflection of greatness. They would project their greatness to make their partners feel thankful for their existence.
A therapist shared a story about a couple in which the woman was the accommodating one and the man was the controlling one. The man was propositioned by another woman which he declined. And then he came and told his partner about the incident and showed her how wonderful he is. And at the same time, he kept in touch with the other woman and refused to let go of her contact when insisted upon by his partner. The woman kept accommodating and then eventually broke up when she couldn’t take it anymore. So, this is an example of how selfish love can destroy a relationship even if one individual is loving unconditionally.
We have limits of tolerance and people must understand that. Thus, in a relationship, it is important that two people equally sacrifice and love each other to find the right balance.
Everybody thrives on love. But it is important that we know if that love is healthy for us or not. So, love yourself first to be able to love others the right way.