Let’s face it: in today’s world, dating is extremely hard. With the advent of apps like Tinder and Grindr, relationships have become harder to form and hook-ups are the new thing. After a while, most of us want to really just date, get to know someone, and form a meaningful relationship. However, this doesn’t mean that everyone we meet wants to do the same thing. All of us have had our fair share of bad dates that make great anecdotes at a party sometimes, but after a while, these bad dates just become a nuisance. From people who look nice but turn out to be not-so-nice, to the people whose hearts we end up breaking, each of us can go through rough patches of dating hell. Before you throw in the towel though, take a pause. A rough patch doesn’t mean that there’s nothing else out there at all. If you’re looking for a little change in perspective while you sort yourself out, here are some things you need to remember when everything seems sucky:
Don’t Blame Yourself
A lot of people blame themselves for a date gone wrong: “I always choose the wrong people”, “I wasn’t fun enough”, “I’m not good looking enough”. These doubts are the first reason we feel like throwing the towel in and giving up on dating. A bad date can happen because of a number of things, one of which could be bad chemistry. Most often, people have issues dating because of their own personal issues. Moreover, dealing with people is difficult, and you’re bound to run into a few people that just aren’t the one. Blaming yourself only hurts you and makes you miserable, which is of no use.
Find A Way To Enjoy Alone
We desperately seek out dating and relationships sometimes because we hate being alone. Movies and the media have made it look like being single is a sad thing. However, being able to enjoy your own company has some great benefits, and being single gives you the kind of freedom that isn’t always found in relationships. By knowing yourself well, you’re being equipped with self-awareness and confidence in the kind of person you are. So instead of finding as many dates as you can, take yourself out on a date and get to know yourself. You might be surprised at how amazing you can be.
On days that seem extra-sucky, treat yourself well. We get caught up in our frustration and anger, but we don’t realize what it is actually doing to us both physically and mentally. When things seem like they’re getting out of hand, take a break and remember to be kind to yourself. Just because everyone else seems to be inconsiderate towards you doesn’t mean you have to do the same thing.
It might seem like a good idea to line up multiple dates; after all, one of them is bound to be a great match. Sometimes though, less is more, and you might want to take the extra time to catch up on things you like to do instead, like binging on a T.V show, or reading a book. Don’t make everything about dating because that can limit how you spend your time.
When you do go out on what seems like a good date, share more about yourself and be truthful. We tend to be wary and cautious because of past dates, but we might also drive away someone who is really great because we weren’t willing to give them a chance. A good relationship requires honesty and vulnerability, and you can only start one with the same principles.
Don’t Focus On The Negative
After a bad date, we tend to banter and bicker about the negative experiences, which only makes us more miserable. There is so much more to life than that bad date, and when you stop focusing on it, you give way to more enjoyable and positive experiences. You have friends and family, you have opportunities and hobbies, so live your life to the fullest. Dating a part of your life, not all of it.
Make A Change
You might swear by an app to get you dates, but maybe it’s time you tried something different. There are so many apps out there that can help you find people, so give some others a try. If you want to go old school, you can ask a friend or family member to set you up with someone they know. This can be a great option, because you can bet on who this person will be based on what people have told you about them. For all you know, this change can be the path to the One.