It’s been a long, tiring week and you can’t wait to get down to doing the dirty with your significant other. The plan sticks and things get really hot and heavy in between the sheets and you mentally pat yourself on the back for being such a fantastic sex goddess. That is until you reach down to his member and discover that it’s about as hard as a jelly.
Questions about your level of attractiveness, body odor, or even about his sexuality start cropping up in your mind, which seems to be really good at imagining worst case scenarios. Hold your horses. Before you start panicking, you ought to know that there are multiple ‘non-you-related’ things that could be responsible for ruining your sexy times.
1. He’s Severely Stressed
There is no dearth of problems that can stress our nerves out. Pending bills, a crappy boss, work deadlines, and family problems can put a lot of pressure on anyone’s mind. And when the same happens to a man, it gets very difficult to get an erection. Plus, the nature of anxiety is such that it triggers a whole lot of ‘what if’ questions that make the real issue seem worse than it really is. Therefore, your best bet is to be patient and hope that this blows over. If it doesn’t communicate how you feel with your partner to see what the best way forward is.
2. He’s A Bundle Of Nerves
Nervousness and anxiety, caused by the pressure of wanting to get hard, stay hard, and satisfy his partner can make it tough for a man to get a healthy erection. This is also called performance anxiety.
To deal with cases like these, take your time and indulge in ample foreplay till his sex drive kicks in. You may also suggest that he blows off some steam at the gym working out. This comes with an added bonus of boosting circulation, something that is very critical for an erection.
3. He’s Drunk Out Of His Wits
Alcohol is a depressant, and too much of it will make his penis want to stay in bed. Drinking delays all kinds of bodily reactions and dulls nerves. As a result, his member will be unable to spring to action the way it’s supposed to. He may either have trouble reaching climax, or he just won’t be able to get hard.
It’s okay if this happens occasionally – after all, everyone has the right to let loose and have some fun, right? But if this is a regular occurrence, it may be a case of alcohol addiction which may require some serious attention.
4. He Can’t Stop ‘Tugging’
If he’s going to be giving himself too many tugs when he’s by himself, he will end up being too sapped to get it up for the real deal. Too much masturbation is very taxing on a man’s sexual libido, and eventually, he won’t have any mojo left for you.
Unless he’s actually skipping work to shake the creamer, this is not something that you need to be too worried about, and it definitely doesn’t need a therapist’s involvement. It’s perfectly natural for every boy to want to get his happy fix once in awhile. But if this is starting to interfere with you getting yours, it does call for a serious discussion with your partner.
5. His Medication Is To Blame
Prescription drugs may surely be effective in fixing everything, but it may cause your sex life to take a nosedive. Depending on what kind of medication your partner is on, his testosterone levels may be affected and this, in turn, can lower his sex drive. Not only that, these drugs also cause side effects like sluggishness, drowsiness, and weight gain. Any one or a combination of these factors can be a huge emotional and physical downer.
Urge your partner to check with his doctor for an alternative. The doctor may either reduce the dosage amount depending on how well your partner is recovering from the condition he has, or he may just prescribe another drug that doesn’t have the side effects that are coming in the way of you and your partner’s penis.
6. He’s Tipping The Scale
Putting on too much weight not only ruins your waistline but can also cause circulation problems. Plus, it can also damage your blood vessels. This cuts off adequate blood supply to your man’s penis, thus preventing it from getting hard. Encourage your partner to lead a healthier lifestyle with a workout routine and a healthier diet. You won’t be doing just your sex life, but also his self-esteem a huge favor.
7. His Testosterone Levels Have Plummeted
Mother Nature is not very kind to people as they age and when it comes to men, she can take away a lot of the testosterone that is responsible for firing up a man’s libido. This means your partner will have a tough time getting erections. Luckily, your partner can easily fix this problem with the help of supplements. However, do make sure you both consult a doctor for supplement and dosage recommendations.
Know When To Seek Medical Help
It’s natural to be upset with your partner when his sorry erection busts your plans of having a good ol’ wham-bam. However, you should know that plenty of women also encounter similar problems with their partner. As a man ages, occasional erectile dysfunction is a normal occurrence. In fact, one in four men under the age of 40 seek help for new-onset erectile dysfunction and you can even reverse this condition just by making a few healthy tweaks in your lifestyle.1 2
If your partner’s weak erections seem like a permanent problem and neither of you can seem to figure out what the root cause is, it could be that something bigger is at play. Erectile dysfunction is often one of the first signs of serious health issues like heart disease or Peyronie’s Disease. Therefore, don’t waste any time in paying your physician or a urologist a visit.
|↑1||Capogrosso, Paolo, Michele Colicchia, Eugenio Ventimiglia, Giulia Castagna, Maria Chiara Clementi, Nazareno Suardi, Fabio Castiglione et al. “One patient out of four with newly diagnosed erectile dysfunction is a young man—worrisome picture from the everyday clinical practice.” The journal of sexual medicine 10, no. 7 (2013): 1833-1841.|
|↑2||The University of Adelaide. “Erectile dysfunction can be reversed without medication.” Coordinates 34 (2014): 138-604513.|