Many women decide to break their pregnancy news in the later part of their first trimester—be it to the relatives or at work. Some announce it right away while others wait for many weeks to a month or two. Some social norms suggest that women must not drop a hint by the time they are 12 weeks into pregnancy—reasons like the risk of miscarriage, and unwanted attention and advice could hold them back.
Let’s find out why women still keep their pregnancy a secret for quite some time and whether it is really necessary to withhold your joy and excitement until the suitable time arrives.
Breaking The News In Old Times
Well, not so back in time, but quite a while ago, there were no such methods like ultrasounds and pregnancy tests. Women waited to feel their baby’s first movement to determine if they were pregnant. The very first movements of the baby were called ‘quickening’—it didn’t happen until 4 months into the pregnancy. Women didn’t rely on a missing period as that could simply mean an irregular cycle. Pregnancy tests and ultrasounds came only in the early and mid-1900s. Until then, the pregnancy news was broken only when a woman was pretty much sure of it.
Fear Of Loss
The fear of a miscarriage always stays at the back of every pregnant woman’s head. However, various studies have concluded that the risk only decreases as the pregnancy or gestation period increases over weeks.
- Between weeks 6-9, the risk: 14-15%
- Between weeks 10-15, the risk: 6-8%
- Between the 16th week, the risk < 1%1
Announcing the pregnancy too early may mean that if there poses an uncertainty or a greater risk, then that needs to be said out loud too. Many just keep the secret to themselves, until they find they are out of the ‘risky’ zone.
It should be known that such risks also depend on factors like previous miscarriages, health complications, and age of the mother.
The very first diagnostic ultrasound happens between 11-14 weeks when the doctors detect your baby’s heartbeat, after which the risk decreases significantly to null.
1. Dealing With The First Trimester
During the first trimester, your body’s energy requirements shoot up as your baby develops inside the womb. First-time moms may feel taxed due to extreme fatigue and exhaustion. You will probably feel grateful if someone apart from your partner is around to support with chores when you experience those symptoms of morning sickness.
If your work involves physical work that requires your heavy involvement and tires you at the end of the day, a talk with a trusted friend at work or your employer could be worth it during a crucial time when you need a little more care and attention.
2. Sharing May Actually Be Good
Social norms have always made things a little more tough for women. When it comes to announcing the pregnancy, they worry how people around will accept the news. Will they be surprised that it happened too early or too late? How would they take the news if someone in the family is dealing with infertility? What if someone close has recently suffered a loss of pregnancy?
You need not really bother yourself with what around people might think about your early or late pregnancy. However, if someone has suffered a loss or is dealing with infertility, it is better that they know about it in early weeks rather through someone else or later when it becomes evident.
3. Build A Community
Soon after discovering that you are pregnant, you may become effervescent and curious to know all about pregnancy and baby care. No doubt, you have all the information available online, yet, having a conversation with experienced moms in person can surely give you much more exposure on what to expect as your pregnancy will proceed.
Other moms can provide the advice, support, and words of encouragement that you may very much want to hear in the initial days. Many online forums allow mothers to come together and share their experiences.
The ‘beginning’ is always intimidating. Many first time moms feel terrified or experience brewing emotions. It always feels good to talk about it, and, why not! Your pregnancy is a moment to rejoice. Celebrate it!
There is no rule to announce your pregnancy within 12 weeks. It also depends on your comfort level—after all, it is your personal choice.
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