Forget what you heard about tantric sex. It isn’t about doing the deed for hours on end – how tiring would that be? Instead, the goal is increase sexual energy and connection. The actual experience gets far more attention than the grand finale. While tantric sex does encourage prolonging the act, there’s a purpose. It lets you enjoy the process and deepen the connection. Beyond the bedroom, this can have an amazing impact on your relationship. Practicing tantric sex may also help people with sexual problems.
For example, roughly 24 to 43 percent of women have hypoactive sexual desire disorder.1 About 18 million American men have erectile dysfunction,2 which may be caused by stress or anxiety.3 And then there’s relationship issues. It’s not uncommon for sex to dwindle over time, especially when kids or work take over. Men are more likely to show less intimacy,4 while women are less likely to be honest about their sexuality.5
The reasons range far and wide, but tantric sex might save the day. It applies the principles of tantra, an ancient Eastern spiritual practice to lovemaking. Think of it as a mind-body connection with a significant other. Ready to give it a spin? Follow these seven tips.
Ways You Can Improve Your Sex Life
1. Talk About Sex
Chatting about a topic is the best way to bond with someone. Sex is no different! Be open with your sexual desires, thoughts, and concerns. For example, is there something that your partner did that felt good? Tell them that. Tantra is all about breaking the taboo feelings around sex.
2. Make A Sacred Space
Light candles or dim the lights. Experiment with aromatherapy, focusing on energizing scents. Use silky bed sheets that feel amazing on the skin. You don’t have to go all out and re-create a scene from a chick flick, but these little changes will help.
3. Give A Massage
Nothing feels better than a full-body massage. Extra points when it’s from the person you love! To fuel a deeper connection, make the massage the highlight of the night. Afterward, sex will feel that much better.
4. Focus On Breathing
Sound familiar? Much like yoga, tantra places importance on your breath. Notice when it speeds up or slow down. Even better, sync your breath with your partner. When they breathe out, breathe in. Think of energizing yourself with their breath.
5. Notice Your Partner’s Reaction
During sex, it’s common for movements to become repetitive. This makes it easy for you and your partner to zone out. Instead, focus on how he or she reacts to touch. Respond accordingly, and switch it up every now and then.
6. Open Your Eyes
Nothing says connection like eye contact. Obviously, don’t stare your partner down, but keep your eyes open. You’re already doing something so intimate why avoid looking each other?
7. Allow Noises
Whether it’s through random sounds or actual words, let noise come as they do. Don’t hold it back. This type of expression is not only a normal part of lovemaking, but another way to communicate with your partner.
Practicing tantric sex may be awkward at first. However, with time, your comfort level should increase. It might even put a spark back into the relationship.
|↑1||Segraves, Robert, and Terri Woodard. “Female hypoactive sexual desire disorder: History and current status.” The journal of sexual medicine 3, no. 3 (2006): 408-418.|
|↑2||Patel, Jay Pravin, Eric Hweegeun Lee, Carlos Ignacio Mena, and Charles N. Walker. “Effects of metformin on endothelial health and erectile dysfunction.” Translational Andrology and Urology (2017).|
|↑3||Symptoms & Causes of Erectile Dysfunction. National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases.|
|↑4||Lavner, Justin A., Benjamin R. Karney, and Thomas N. Bradbury. “Relationship problems over the early years of marriage: Stability or change?.” Journal of Family Psychology 28, no. 6 (2014): 979.|
|↑5||Benson, Etienne. “The science of sexual arousal.” Monitor on Psychology 34, no. 4 (2003): 50-52.|