If you have ever been in an unhealthy relationship and have managed to pull yourself out of it – well done! This indicates that you value and respect yourself enough to save yourself from damage. Some people deal with the breakups rather quickly – perhaps the separation from the person they broke up with in itself gives them tremendous peace but there are chances that some others might still be reeling from the after-effects of the breakup. If you are one of these people, here are some things you can do to help move on and even find yourself through the process.
1. Pour Your Heart Out In Words
Write about your decision- why you made it and what you felt like while making it. The reason this is important is because it’ll help bring clarity to your mind and help you understand what the current state of affairs are. Another very important reason to write what you feel is so that it can act as a reminder to your future self about the way you felt at the time of the breakup. It’s easy for you to think “I should have never broken up” when you are at a low point but this written document can help you see things clearly again.
2. Don’t Reach Out To Your Ex-Partner
It is possible for people who have broken up from an unhealthy relationship to try and reach out to their ex-partner again. Once you have made the decision to end things don’t be tempted to go back to something bad just because it is familiar. It might help to put away all the stuff that they gave you or that reminds you of them- at least until you are sure you’re completely over it. If you feel like you can’t stop yourself from drunk dialing them or leaving a hundred voice messages – ask a friend to remind you of all the reasons you broke up in the first place.
3. Don’t Be Reckless
The pain that you feel might drive you to do things that may not be in your self-interest. It is common for people to want to get tattoos right after their breakup or to cut their hair as they feel a sudden urge to express themselves and although this is relatively safe, ensure that you do not go overboard. Expressing your emotions are great – when done via a positive medium like writing or art or even just talking about it. If you feel like engaging in self-harm or anything that could be of danger to your health please contact a family member or support group immediately.
4. Alone Time
If you have been in the relationship for a long time – you are likely to have gotten highly accustomed to your lifestyle with your partner. This means getting used to the new lifestyle ahead of you could be a tremendous challenge. You will have to spend a lot more time by yourself and this isn’t a bad thing at all. Some quality alone time every day can really help you get in touch with yourself especially if your relationship has taken a toll on your sense of identity. Engage yourself in an activity that you love doing or that which interests you.
5. Quality Time With Friends And Family
Apart from the time you spend with yourself and time spent at work or class, make sure to spend quality time with close friends and family. Never cut out the people who love you for who you are. Let them know your decision and talk to them about it if you feel like it. This healthy environment is highly essential for you especially if you’re feeling emotionally insecure and vulnerable.
6. Love Yourself
Self-love is the best love. As you learn about life, you come to see that no one can love you more than you love yourself. At the end of the day, even your closest friend might have to prioritize something or someone else over you and the only person you can rely on is yourself. Especially during this hard time, you need to be on team you.