Every pregnant mom has lots of questions in their mind as they near the due date. Without any doubt, one of the most important question for them is this: ‘Who is going to be in the delivery room?’ Well, it is a very tricky situation for them. When many of them want their mothers to be there, they are not too keen on giving green signal to their mothers-in-law in the delivery room. So, what do you think?
MIL, In Or Out?
The only person who gets to make the final decision on who should be and shouldn’t be in the delivery room is you. The vast majority of women are against their mothers-in-law’s presence in the labor room. However, it is true that there are some who are lucky to have lovely mothers-in-law. Like a mother, she takes care of her daughter-in-law and stands as a pillar of strength during tough times. They are extremely supportive. So, ask yourself these questions about your mother-in-law before you make a decision.
- Is she able to support you during labor?
- Will her presence make you uncomfortable?
- Does she have a habit of preaching?
- Does she compare you with laboring women?
A mother-in-law who drives you nuts need not be there for the delivery. When you look for peaceful and familiar ambiance to push your baby out, your mother-in-law will be the last person you want in the room. Understand that you have all the right to make that decision. Because it is you who have to go through the pain of labor.
But, the way you communicate your decision matters. Even though you have the right to make that crucial decision, you should be responsible and mature enough to inform your mother-in-law about it politely. Afterall, she groomed your partner to a wonderful person. Wondering how to deal the situation?
Informing Your Mother-In-Law About ‘No-Entry’
We understand that you may not even want the mother-in-law to know about your delivery room guest list. Never be that rude. You definitely don’t want your kids’ birthday to be remembered as the last day of your communication with the mother in law. From her point of view, she has all the right to be part of her grandchild’s birth. She may demand to be there, right there in the delivery room. Well, you need to be smart enough to convince her not to do that.
To begin with, talk to your partner about the birth plan. Have a calm, honest discussion with him about who all should be there in the delivery room. The best thing is just two of you in the delivery room. However, if you want your mother or someone close to you to be there in the room, explain him that. Tell him how their presence would make you more comfortable.
And tell him that you may not be comfortable with your mother-in-law in the room. (If he is smart enough, he would have already understood your plan!) Once he agrees to it, half the work is done. There is no one better than him to convince your MIL.
Nicely but firmly tell your mother-in-law about your birth plans. Make your feelings clear and be straight. Tell her that it is better if you and your partner are alone in the delivery room.
If you have plans to let your mother in, tell your MIL that beforehand. Last minute surprises may sometimes irritate her. You can tell her that your mother knows you better and can be a great support system during labor.
Be nice to her. Always remember, she is sacrificing her intense desire to witness the birth of her son’s baby. She might have been waiting for that day for long.
And well, if your mother-in-law does not respond to your nice moves, you can just go ahead with your decision. As a laboring other, your mental and physical status should be given priority. And you have all the freedom to make that decision.
Do you want your mother in law in the delivery room with you when you give birth? Share your thoughts with us.
