Being authentically awesome means you love what you say to yourself when no one is listening. In other words you are your own best friend, advocate, confidant and superstar supporter. Many would say this type of encouraging self-talk is a prerequisite on a hero’s journey.
The other day my dynamic co-creative partner and I were having a masterminding meeting about a new coaching program we are putting together and I noticed background noise in my head.
I was having two conversations, the one I was having with Kim and the one I was having with myself. I tuned into my self-talk and noticed hints of judgment about the idea I had just shared. I was discounting it before even giving it a chance.
I found myself comparing my idea to the ‘infamous them’, the vast majority of self-help gurus. When I caught myself, I felt a moment of relief as I realized I was the only one having this conversation. It wasn’t factual but merely my made up interpretations.
I then chose to share it with Kim which immediately took the power out of it and together we refocused on our mission, passion and purpose. This got us thinking about how easy it is to let the voices in our head take over and lead us away from our authentic self.
Take a moment to eavesdrop on the conversation you’re having with yourself about yourself.
- Do you say kind things to yourself or are you self-critical?
- Do you boost yourself up or bring yourself down with your self-talk?
- Are you the star of your life or are you comparing yourself to what others are doing or being?
Where does this inner dialogue come from? From day 1 we are gathering information and forming brain pathways that lead to the content of this dialogue. We are typically not aware that we are making decisions along the way that are shaping and molding this very important 24/7 conversation.
Every moment we are choosing what to think, feel and believe about ourselves based on our experiences. As you take conscious ownership of this conversation you begin the bold and transformational journey of retraining “the voices in your head”.
3 Mind-Hacks To Retrain Your Self-Talk
1. Find Present Moment Proof
As you tune in to your inner dialogue, a powerful strategy to retrain negative self-talk is to see if what you are saying to yourself is based on your current reality or is it rooted in past experiences that are no longer true or relevant. Often you will find it is based on the past.
From here, consider what you want to believe about yourself and then look for proof or evidence to validate this in the present. To help with this, you might consider what your close friends would say about you.
Remember there are a million and one interpretations, it is important not to get stuck on just one, so don’t be surprised by any negative self-talk (we all have it).
2. Be Yourself And Stop Comparing
“I am not what I think I am. I am not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am.”
Caring what other people think is one of the biggest ways to assure limited potential. This is one reason ‘self’ not ‘others’ is placed in front of confidence, respect, worth, and esteem. We recognize it can be challenging not to compare especially given rules of success are based on how we match up to others.
To help you realign with your authentic self, consider asking yourself the age-old spiritual question ‘Who am I?’ Listen deeply for the answer.
3. Know What Is Important To You
Being unaware of who you are and what you want are surefire ways to stay stuck in negative self-talk. At the deepest level we cannot fool ourselves. When we are in denial of our hearts desires, we feel disconnected and abandoned by our own lack of self-awareness.
Denial lends towards numbing out on distractions such as food, TV, alcohol, work, or the internet. Take a moment to consider –
- Do you embrace your heart’s desires?
- Do you honor your unique life path?
- Do you love and accept yourself for where you are?
- Are you being true to yourself and what you want?
Being authentically awesome is a direct reflection of loving what you say to yourself when no one is listening. This is a muscle that can be developed by being present with yourself, not comparing yourself to others and aligning with your hearts deepest desires.