How To Make A Relationship Between Introverts And Extroverts Work

Differences can make a relationship stronger and more enjoyable.

Sometimes, the world feels like it can always be split into two: the dreamers and the realists, cat people and dog people, introverts and extroverts. In many cases, especially when it comes to romantic relationships, these types of opposites tend to attract. While these differences can great because it helps us learn more from each other,  they can also cause conflict. One of the most common combinations is the introvert-extrovert, and more often than not, couples have issues reconciling the two types. The extroverts feel like they’re being held back from doing things they enjoy, such as socializing, while the introverts feel like they are being pushed into something they don’t want and are then being blamed for who they are. It might seem like finding a compromise can be hard, and if paired with other types of differences, such as preferences and values, can be fatal to any relationship. However, it isn’t impossible to work out a great relationship between an extrovert and an introvert.

An Example


The the example of going to a dinner party together. For an extrovert, this might be an event they really look forward to, but an introvert might not appreciate being around so many people for very long. After all, a romantic relationship is a very crucial aspect of their lives. An extrovert might attend the party by themselves, but they might not like doing this for every event. It is important in such situations to meet half way. An extrovert could attend the party with a few friends they know and have a night for themselves while giving their partner a night for themselves too. It is important to not bring resentment in if this happens. If you want to spend more time with your partner and you want them to join you, then both of you could agree on a time to leave, such as after dinner. This gives an extrovert some time to partake in the event while also more being comfortable for the introvert. You can also take a look at the guest list and see if there is anyone that the introvert likes is also attending, and this can give you both an ideal setting.

Independent Traits


It’s important to remember that introverts and extroverts are who they are independent of the relationship. This is a major personality trait and is largely decided at birth, and therefore makes the person who they are. This means that whatever they do and you might not like in the partner, they do it because of this and not because they want to make you unhappy. Taking their personality personally will never benefit the relationship. It is important to know that if a partner wants to talk out the problem right then and there but you would rather take some time to mull it out, your partner isn’t disrespecting your wishes but are just being themselves. Sometimes, it might need to be talked out for the extroverts, and sometimes, an extrovert can wait for a while to let the introvert think through what they need to. In the end, it is all about compromise and what the situation is asking for.

Celebrating Differences


If you feel like you are part of the introvert-extrovert couple, it could also benefit the relationship to have an open conversation about how the differences might affect the relationship. It may also help to draw boundaries about certain situations and decide early on how to approach important social events and situations. There could be certain events that an extrovert wants to attend with a partner, and there could be certain activities that the introvert wants with a partner, such as watching an important game on TV or catching up on certain television shows. This leaves less room for anger and miscommunication and helps to strengthen the bond between the couple. Differences don’t have to be something to dread; they can actually make your life much more complete. An extrovert helps an introvert to meet new people they wouldn’t have otherwise met, and gives them an opportunity to create deeper friendships as time goes on with a particular few. An introvert helps the extrovert to be more observant and insightful about certain things, and can help an extrovert to understand the beauty and growth that comes from solitude. These differences can bring you closer and make the relationship much better.