If you are going through a rough patch in your relationship, then know that you are not alone. It is very common for couples to have disagreements, feuds, and even phases of emotional distance from one another. This might seem heartbreaking for some. But the ‘after’ that ensues ‘happily ever after’ requires hard work, commitment, and sometimes, even therapy.
The good thing is that couples therapy is effective and has proven to be so in 93 percent of cases according to the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists. But the most difficult thing for you would be to figure out whether you require therapy as a couple or not. Well, the first to step is recognizing that you have problems in your relationship. Sometimes, these problems might not seem apparent. So, look for these ten indications to help you and your partner take that call.
1. Life Threw A Curve Ball
Sometimes, life can surprise you with a lot of unexpected situations when you are not ready for them. Financial upheaval, unplanned pregnancy, or a sudden loss of some kind can take you and your partner by surprise. Figuring your way out of such tricky situations can be difficult for you both. So, seeking additional help to get some perspective to deal with these changes can help you and your partner with your relationship.
2. A Big Commitment Ahead
A big commitment like marriage can suddenly cause a shift in your relationship in terms of priorities. That is why many relationship counselors recommend couples to go through therapy together before marriage to navigate more successfully later in life. This would provide you with life hacks to handle marriage and life afterward with more ease.
3. Lackluster Sex Lives
Sex is a big part of your relationship whether you admit it or not. It is normal for couples to lose their passion in the bedroom due to work stress or other personal issues. But this phase shouldn’t be long-lasting. If you find the passion to be fizzling out due to reasons unknown, then it is better to seek some help to figure it out. Regaining your passion in between the sheets can help you to feel more connected to your partner.
4. A Chamber Of Secrets
Secrets can be of many types, especially in relationships. Not sharing your feelings, hiding your expenses, not communicating about your desires and fantasies are all part of keeping secrets from your partner. It starts off small and seems harmless, but it never is. Transparency and communication are two important cornerstones of a relationship. Thus, when you and your partner feel that both of you are keeping more information from one another than sharing, then it is definitely not a good sign.
5. Negative Biases Can Cause More Harm
Your experiences with your partner allow you to form an image of him or her. But with a conceived notion comes bias. A good bias can help your relationship to get better whereas a bad bias can often lead to misunderstanding and fights. For example, you might think your partner is a liar as you are drawing that conclusion from your past experiences. But this bias might not always serve you in a good way as you can be wrong sometimes. Thus, it won’t be easy for neither of you to get over these biases without some help.
6. Unwillingness To Change
Flaws are common to all human beings. Often it is your partner who has to bear the brunt of your flaws and vice versa. But you need to change according to the requirements of life to evolve as a person. But when one partner refuses to change for the better, then it often becomes a big problem for the other partner. Changes require self-realization and time. That is why couples therapy can help with the self-realization part of it.
7. Loss Of Trust
This is an issue that can never be ignored. Loss of trust can either be due to your partner’s behavior or sometimes, your own. Infidelity, lying, and recklessness are some of the things that can cause this. But whatever may be the case, the only way you and your partner can stay together is if you two are willing to work on it. And if you are, then don’t hesitate to seek a specialist to help you on your journey.
8. Forgiveness Has Become Difficult
Problems with your partner can take a toll on your ability to forgive sometimes. But if this problem has become so severe that you can’t even get past the smallest of things, then it is definitely time for you and your partner to see a couples therapist.
9. Addiction Needs To Be Addressed
There is a fine line between enjoying something greatly and being addicted to it. And it takes others to make us realize that. So, if you think your partner has an addiction and he or she disagrees, it is better to get that clarified by a professional. Couples therapy can be a great way to address these issues and get your partner the help he or she needs to deal with their addiction.
10. Never-Ending Fights
Fights are normal among couples. But if your fights have become so severe and frequent that it has become a mode of communication for you and your partner, then you definitely need to consider therapy. And especially so if your fights are making things increasingly worse for you and your partner.
Couples therapy is only a way to bring you closer to your partner and it is not a question mark on your love. So, talk to your partner and take the decision together to work on your relationship.