Co-parenting after a divorce can be a difficult thing to take on, especially if you have had a problematic relationship with your partner. There are many fears that freshly divorced people have about their ex-partners and their parenting skills. You may be having fears about the child support, your ability to control your resentment towards your ex-partner and other financial aspects. But you need to remember that those problems are secondary to your children’s well-being. Co-parenting is a necessity that can provide your child with stability and security that a child needs from both his or her parents.
Co-parenting is a framework of parenting in which both parents can be actively involved in their children’s lives after a divorce to provide emotionally as well as financially for the children. This system obviously wont work if your family has seen more serious issues like domestic violence, substance abuse etc. But if not, then co-parenting is a good way to ensure that your children have both their parents in their lives. This system makes sure that the children share great relationships with both the parents and get enough time with both of them. But this framework is directly based on the relationship that two co-parents share. A research suggests that the relationship between two co-parents can directly affect the emotional and mental well-being of a child. This has been found to have affected many incidences of anxiety and depression in children who come from broken homes.
Joint custody can be stressful for both parties. There are lots of issues that would keep surfacing while dealing with your ex-partner. But it is important to keep all of that aside for the well-being of the children. Things wouldn’t work if both co-parents don’t find a zone of peace as only then they would be able to make shared decisions and coordinate with each other over drop-offs, pick-ups and many other things.
Forming The Framework
The only way to make co-parenting work is by separating your personal issues with your co-parenting tasks. Don’t let your personal issues cloud your co-parenting responsibilities. Deal with your ex-partner rationally when it concerns your kids. You need to understand that the person you would be dealing with is the parent of you children and not your spouse. So, you need to focus on being a parent and refrain from acting like a disgruntled spouse.
The benefits of good co-parenting are immense. The children who have great co-parents feel secure and are better equipped to work through a divorce. Such children benefit immensely from the stability that their co-parents provide and such children turn out to be mentally and emotionally healthier. Also, when you are a great co-parent, you provide your children with a great example that they can follow.
4 Tips To Make Co-Parenting Work
1. Let Your Emotions Take A Backseat
This is very important that you put your resentment and ego behind you to work with your ex-partner regardless of how acrimonious the divorce was. This will help you to act rationally and take good decisions for your children. Never vent or badmouth your ex-partner in front of your children.
2. Communicate Better With Your Co-Parent
Communication is very important in forming a good partnership. So, make sure you are clearly communicating with you co-parent about everything that concerns your children’s well-being. And if you have some issues, then resolve it amicably with your ex-partner but do it when your children are away.
3. Keep It Clear
Keep your communication effective and clear. Use a business-like tone while communicating with your co-parent. Make requests and refrain from speaking too much but make sure to communicate clearly. This will help you to get your point across effectively without getting too personal.
4. Make Visitations Easy
Work effectively as a team to make sure that you are allowing you ex-partner to be a better parent. Make the visitations easy for your ex-partner and make sure you communicate your ideas clearly to them so that they can help you in your quests too.
Divorce can be difficult for a whole family to process but it is a duty of the parents to make it a little less painful for their children. And co-parenting is the right way forward from a divorce.