“To err is human; to forgive, divine.”- Alexander Pope, An Essay On Criticism
It is indeed human to folly and divine to forgive. But in between the erred humanity and the forgiving divinity, comes a time for redemption for the erred. We humans are flawed beings and are prone to making mistakes. But what makes us good is out ability to ask for forgiveness for the follies we commit. Apologizing is an act of redemption that allows to swipe the slate clean and start over. But we can start over only when we have been forgiven for our follies. And wronged individuals can forgive only when they receive genuine apologies from their wrongdoers. Apologizing can never be effective if the person apologizing is not genuine in that moment.
It is important for people to know that a halfhearted apology can never bring them genuine forgiveness. A person who has been wronged goes through a world of pain and hurt. So, a fake apology can never heal his or her wounded heart. A wrongdoer must find the grief for doing something wrong in them. He or she must feel the depth of despair to apologize genuinely. An apology that can heal a wounded heart always comes from a place of truth and contemplation. There are things that you can do to put forth your apology in a way that means something so that the wronged person can find the courage to forgive you.
1. Apologize Sincerely
The first step toward extending a sincere apology is to apologize sincerely. When we falter or when things go wrong in a relationship, the first thing that we do is shift the blame from ourselves on to the other person involved. We do this unintentionally because we are too egotistic to look into ourselves. It is always easy to believe that the faults lie in the other person and not in us. Hence, after a big mishap, our ego will make it very difficult for us to introspect and see our faults. Hence, it is important that we pluck up all our courage and put that ego aside to see through ourselves.
After contemplation comes acceptance. When we accept that it is our fault, it becomes easy for us to extend a genuine apology. So, when you are apologizing, make sure you do it from the bottom of your heart and soul with all your humility. A genuine apology is the first step toward fixing a broken relationship.
2. Admit The Obvious
This will be a very difficult thing to do because your ego will come rushing back to you in all its glory and with all its power. But you need to hold on to your clarity of purpose in this situation. You need to remember that you are the one who has made a mistake and so, you are owning up to it. You need to admit to the person that you know and you accept all your mistakes. You know that your mistakes have caused a grave damage and that is the reason why you want to be held accountable for your acts. You might feel scared about the consequences but that’s the price you have to pay to extend a genuine apology.
3. Redeem Yourself By Doing The Right Thing
You need to ask the person you have wronged what he or she needs for him or her to feel good again. And you need to make sure that you are willing to provide whatever he or she asks for. When you ask that person what he or she needs, it makes your apology sincere and real. This will make him or her feel like you are genuinely empathizing. When you can put your partner’s needs before yours, you are setting a great example.
Apologizing can be a hard thing to do, but it is great for our soul and a lot of the times, even for our relationships.