As relationships and the people in them grow, sometimes, the physical intimacy you had in your early years begins to simmer down. Life takes hold of you and there is always something else that takes priority. The sexual connection you have with your mate or partner is also an important part of your relationship. There is nothing selfish about the need to give and receive love through sex and if you’re not doing it as often as you should, here’s how you can rekindle the spark.
1. Focus On Sexual Success
When you see an athlete performing at their peak, it looks as though it comes so naturally to him. This is because the athlete is in a zone where he is doing his best without any interference that can throw him off his game. It’s a place where he is completely present, relaxed and energized. The same analogy applies to sex. Just like how you work towards making other spheres of your life successful, it is also important to feel sexually alive, responsive and connected so that you have a strong relationship with your partner.
2. Recognize The Obstacles
In many cases, people blame their spouse for their loss in sex drive. As relationships grow old with time, it becomes difficult to be aroused by a mate who sulks or nags or looks a certain way. If it’s not that, then people just ascribe low libido to age and hormones. However, your hormones are also affected by your mind.
If you have lost interest in sex, your body will also eventually stop prodding you to get cozy with your mate. Take a good hard look at your life and your mate to find out why the sexual connection has broken. Once you recognize the deterrents, you can both work towards becoming more intimate.
3. Change Your Mindset About Sex
If you’ve been married and have started a family, just getting through the day can be a daunting task. And the end of the day, even if you feel like having sex, just the thought of all the physical work it entails is enough to put you off.
But remember those early days in your relationship when you always managed to squeeze in sex, even if it was a 10-minute quickie. It was because you were excited about the prospect of sex and getting into each other’s pants. When you love doing something, it does not matter how tired you are, your body always finds the energy. So all you need to do is change the way you approach sex and find ways to make it exciting again.
4. Master Your Self-Image
Another cause for the decrease sexual drive could be the way you feel about yourself. The world bombards you with images of what is beautiful and sexy and when you think you don’t fit into that image, it can make you feel very “unsexy”. This could happen to both men and women.
If you begin to think you’re not good enough or not worthy to deserve love and pleasure, you begin to discount the possibility of having sex. But the fact is feeling sexy and good about yourself has nothing to do with the outside. It’s all about you and how you own your sexiness. So forget what the world has to say and get in touch with your sensual side.
5. Sex Up Your Mate
There are times when you really want to do it but you look at your partner and that person just does not look as sexy to you anymore. You do not hate him but, over time, have found other meaningful ways to connect with your partner while the sexual connection dwindled away.
However, the fact is, it’s easier to change your sexual response than to change your mate. Maybe you need to turn yourself around a little and find things in your partner that are actually quite sexy. It could be the little things like when she surprises you by ordering food from your favorite restaurant or when he’s done all the dishes even though it was your day to do them.