Most people will tell you that sex after menopause is just a downward spiral caused by dried up hormones wreaking havoc inside your body.
Don’t believe them.
You don’t have to be a spring chicken to enjoy sex, and it’s very much possible to feel just as sexy after menopause. The slowing sex drive is not a sign that you need to stop your bedroom romps; it is, in fact, just a tiny obstacle that can be overcome with the right approach.
Don’t Stress Out
You don’t have to feel frazzled or think your body is abnormal just because you feel your sex drive hitting a low. Low sex drive may just as well be the biggest sex complaint among middle aged women. While a lot of women may not feel this change, it is completely normal if you do.
Visit A Doctor
This is not the time for you to be demure. If your low sex drive is causing you worry, it’s high time to open up and be frank with a doctor.
There are a series of complex issues other than menopause that could be the underlying cause of your low sex drive, for example:
- Age: Women are two to three times more likely to experience a lesser desire to have sex than men as they age. You can in fact, even feel the effects of menopause as early as 10 years before your periods end.
- Hormone Effects: As estrogen levels fall with the onset of menopause, your sexual desire is more likely to start diminishing. Night sweats, hot flashes, and vaginal dryness can ruin your mood, your sleep, and your romance. You may face an even harder time if you’ve been thrust into menopause because of chemotherapy or having your ovaries removed since they can lead to more intense symptoms than the slower, more gentle process of natural menopause.
- Partner Problems: If you’re facing troubles in your marriage, you won’t feel like having sex, regardless of what your age is.
- Other Health Troubles: Depression, anxiety, chronic illness, bladder control trouble, and medications play a huge role in bringing down your desire for sex.
Reset Your Desire Zappers
It’s easy for men to pop a Viagra to boost your sex drive since their desires are centered on blood flow. For women, things are a little more complicated. Here’s what can help:
- Lubricate: As you age, your vaginal tissue starts becoming thinner, thus making sex painful and even sometimes leading to urinary tract infections – two things that will only further put you off sex. Invest in some good quality vaginal lubricants, and they will help reduce the pain and even bring down your risk of infection. If you’re shy about buying them from shops, just order them online or ask your doctor for some kind of medication to make the sex less of an ordeal.
- Try Hormones: Your doctor will prescribe estrogen either in tablet, ring, or cream format. This will help thicken the tissue and make sex feel much better for you. If you’re suffering from menopausal symptoms like hot flashes, an estrogen patch or pills can help relieve them and may be effective in boosting desire.
- Try Changing Medicines: There are plenty of drugs for depression and blood pressure that can put an end to your sex drive. Talk to your doctor about taking a break from a problem drug or for an alternative which comes with less sexual side effects.
Change Your Outlook On Sex
It may be possible that you need a mental makeover, and tweaking your approach to sex can make a big difference:
- Put Yourself First: Focusing on what you want in bed can help you set the right mood and tempo for yourself. It has been found that older women who rarely take the lead about how and when to have sex had the most unhappy partners.
- Make Time For Each Other: When you’re not in the mood your first instinct will be to avoid romance. However, make time for short vacations and date nights and tell yourself you need to do it for yourself. This will help bring back your sexual drive.
- Don’t Ignore The Importance Of Foreplay: It is natural for your clitoris to take longer to respond with age. Therefore, invest some time in foreplay, to cuddle, kiss, or touch each other. Don’t be stuck on having a climax; it’s perfectly alright if you don’t orgasm all the time. However, foreplay will help you spend quality time with each other and may even help make the sex more satisfying.
- Try New Things: Don’t be afraid to experiment. New things will stimulate your brain – which is where the urge to have sex arises from. Trying something that’s new to both of you such as a new place, a new position, toys, roles, etc. can act as a major turn on and help spice your sex life up.
Look Beyond Your Bed
Things that happen outside your bedroom can have a huge consequence on what goes on inside it. Therefore, try these tips to ensure you have a happy atmosphere in your bedroom.
- Talk About It: Ensure your partner is aware that your lack of sexual desire has nothing to do with how you feel about him (if it’s not of course). You don’t want him feeling confused and rejected. Instead, try and figure out together how you can make sex more enjoyable for the two of you.
- Look In The Mirror: It could be that your self-image needs a boost. If you feel like you’re putting on too much weight, make sure you head to a gym or start yoga. Taking control of how you look will have a great impact on how you feel about yourself.
- Reach Out: If you’re just feeling miserable about feeling “old” or if you and your partner are facing issues that you have no idea how to handle, talking to a counselor may help to shed some light on how to move forward.