Stop Hiding Behind ‘Fine’ Because It Isn’t A Feeling

We, humans, are social animals and we crave social interactions at all levels. That is the main reason why we live in a society where people are forced to work together and come together to accomplish bigger things. But a lot has changed since the time our society came into being. Modern lives are pushing people away from each other. Real human interactions are boiling down to mere virtual communications. Hence, our interactions are changing as well. People nowadays are becoming more complicated and finding it harder to communicate and relate to others. And we are constantly moving towards a time in which people will not even look eye to eye and talk. Because of these changing times, the biggest hit is taken by our ability to open up to people. Although, not everyone has that problem but a lot of people do. A lot of people cannot open up to people even when others make an effort. And the word ‘fine’ becomes a shield that inhibits them from indulging in a heart to heart conversation.

The Correct Usage Of ‘Fine’

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English is a fascinating language. One word can have multiple meanings. And at the same time, the same word can be used in different contexts to convey different meanings. Fortunately, ‘fine’ is a simple word that conveys only one meaning of being ‘alright’. But this word can produce different kinds of impacts depending on the context of the conversation.

Communication can be categorized into three different levels; superficial, intimate and behavioral. And ‘fine’ can convey the same meaning in all three types of communication, but with very different kind of impacts.

Let’s say you visit a coffee shop everyday and the waiter asks you everyday ‘how are you?’. ‘Fine’ would be an appropriate response in this scenario. The impact it produces on you and the other person is not emotionally detrimental in any way since this is a superficial type of communication.

The Incorrect Usage Of ‘Fine’

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Often times this word gets used in wrong contexts a lot. This word when used in a wrong context can produce detrimental effect on our emotions. For example, you are having a fight with your boyfriend or girlfriend. The fight has put you in a bad place emotionally. After a while, your partner realizes his or her mistake and comes back to talk to you. And they ask you if you are doing fine and to avoid more discomfort you say ‘fine’. That is a very bad usage of this word. And it can be emotionally damaging for both you and your partner. You might be holding on to a lot of pent up emotions like hurt, betrayal etc. towards them. And so when you resort to ‘fine’ to repress them all, you are only sweeping the dirt under the rug. You are slapping a band-aid on a wound that needs professional first aid. In this scenario, the word ‘fine’ is used to avoid an intimate communication.

This becomes a norm for such people and that can define their way of

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behavioral communication. Such people are unable to feel connected or have a real conversation as they don’t know how to be vulnerable in front of others. This can lead to a bigger emotional problem later in their lives.

Effective Communication And The Avoidance Of ‘Fine’

Human are naturally programmed to crave intimacy and communication plays a big part in that. So, don’t hide behind the veil ‘fine’ to avoid discomforts. Have a real conversation with people about what you are feeling. You will be surprised at the results. Your relationships will get better with honest communication and you will feel a genuine connection with others. All these can be accomplished by avoiding the word ‘fine’ in intimate conversations. So, know when to use this word effectively to have a sound emotional system.

Remember ‘fine’ is not a feeling. It is a word that people sometimes use to run away from their feelings. So, don’t make that mistake anymore. Feel the emotions and communicate openly.

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