As a responsible parent, you might have adopted your own techniques to discipline your kids. But, are you confident that your approach is appropriate for your kids? If yelling and hitting are part of your strategies, then you are on the wrong track. And of course, you are not alone. Many parents make these mistakes without knowing the negative consequences. It’s time to reconsider your views on discipline.
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1.Yelling And Shouting
How do you feel when someone shouts or screams at you? You feel insulted. Even if you have done something wrong, you do not want anyone yelling at you. Your kids feel the same. They do not deserve your shouting under any circumstances. You disrespect your kids when you speak in a harsh voice. The only thing yelling can do is to scare your children.
Be calm whenever you deal with your kids. Yes, it is tough. But, if you do not try, you will end up raising kids with a bad temper. In a gentle voice, make your kids understand why you are upset. Instead of reminding them about their inappropriate behavior, tell them how to do things right in a low voice.
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2.Not Being Firm On Rules
This is common among parents. Whenever you are in a good mood, you go easy on kids. The rules and guidelines for them depend on your mood swings. If you are happy, you forgive your child’s mistakes. This sends a wrong message. Stop doing that.
Be consistent and firm. If you say no to some bad behavior, it should remain the same. When your kids misbehave or disobey you, make sure that you correct them without fail.
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3.Lecturing Them On Their Mistakes
How much you hated those long lectures from your parents? You may have felt like running away from their never ending sermons. Well, your kids dream of the same. They hate your lectures about their mistakes. It does not make any difference in their behavior. They may not even pay attention.
Instead of explaining too much, tell them how things could have been done better in a simple way. Make them understand that a particular behavior is not acceptable. Do not bring in examples of other kids to the discussion. Never compare your kid with their friends or neighbors.
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4.Punishing Your Kids
You may be an ardent believer in physical punishment. And hitting and spanking might be your most used discipline tools. Lets make it clear. These punishments do not have anything to do with discipline. Your kids are fine without them.
Remember, the intention of discipline is to guide and teach your kids good behavior. You need to make them understand the consequences if they behave otherwise. If you punish them, they will believe that physical punishment is acceptable. But, your loving approach works miracles. They see it for themselves, and learn how to deal things without resorting to violence.
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5.Not Being A Role Model
‘Don’t tell lies’, ‘Always talk good about others’, ‘Don’t yell at your friends’ – a few of the instructions you give your kids every day. And how many of these do you practice? Your kids watch you. For them, you are a role model. They try to emulate you. If you do not practice what you preach, then do not blame your kids.
Do not have high expectations from your kids, if you cannot keep up with them. Remember the standard you set for your kids. Try to set a good example for them. If you occasionally do something wrong, admit it. And explain the circumstances which forced you to do that.
No one is perfect in parenting. You may take your anger out on your kids. Sometimes, you may curse them. Don’t be disheartened. To err is human. So, learn from your mistakes and do better next time when your kids test your patience.
