There’s no way around it: chances are that your partner probably has a sexual history. Especially as we get older, not only do we bring more baggage to any relationship, we also will be dealing with baggage from the other person. Sometimes our partner probably has a vast, varied and colorful sexual history, and naturally, this can make us feel a little insecure. When we begin to develop strong feelings for someone, we become emotionally charged, and tend to act on it sometimes. The insecurity can get out of hand and start affecting a perfectly good relationship, so it is up to us to figure out our feelings and handle them. If you want to be involved with someone and see a future with them, it becomes your responsibility to handle your baggage because it can get in the way. It’s perfectly normal to feel jealous, but it should not consume you. The next time you feel angry about your partner’s past relationship, remember these points.
1. They Didn’t Know You
Though you might already know this fact, it is worth repeating once in a while. The past is the past, and it happened when you weren’t a part of your partner’s life. They could not control meeting their past partners as much as they could not control meeting you. The fact that they had partners in the past has nothing to do with you or your current relationship. If you’ve had past relationships, you know that you couldn’t control that, and this is the same case for your partner. If both of you are committed, only the future should matter and not the past.
2. The Past Has Made Them Who They Are
Often, the past teaches us a lot of lessons, and if we are willing to learn, it makes us a much better person. This might be the case with your partner too, because you might never actually know how they were in the past even if they tell you about it. They might have had hard lessons to learn, and ever past relationship might have led them one step closer to become the great person they are with you in the relationship. If you think your partner is caring, loving and wonderful, their present situation should matter the most.
3. This Is Your Issue, Not Theirs
Everyone feels insecure and jealous, but if you think that your jealousy is getting out of hand, there could be other factors at play here. You know that everyone has baggage, just like you, but it might be time for you to unpack a few things if you want the relationship to work out. Most often, feelings of extremely insecurity come from self esteem issues that have not been address, or because of past experiences that might have led us to feel like nothing can go right. If you believe that you’re having a hard time resolving these issues, approaching someone for some professional help can help you to address old issues and make sure that your baggage does not affect the current relationship.
4. They Are Being Honest With You
If your partner has told you about your past, and it seems like a bit too much for you, you can actually look at it as a good thing. Honesty and openness can be wonderful traits in a partner, and if they are telling you about their past because they don’t want to repeat any mistakes, it might work out well for you to support this endeavour. Not everyone is honest about their past, and not everyone is willing to tell others about it. If you’re the lucky person with whom they feel comfortable sharing, you might be taking good steps in your relationship.
5. Be The Best For Them
Finally, you can make this the best relationship and sex they have had to overshadow any old partners. The best sex is not necessarily the hottest or the most passionate or even the kinkiest. The best sexual experiences come from both a physical and emotional harmony with their most understanding and loving partner. If you both have the opportunity to make this a great and lasting relationship, there is no need to worry about the past anyway. Try to be the best person and partner, and a great relationship will remain that way.