Children and their behaviors can reveal a lot about their parents. Parenting is the tool that parents use to shape their children. Hence, good parenting leads to well-adjusted children whereas bad parenting leads to children with many problems. Children are malleable when they are young which is why parents and their behavior can leave their imprints on the children. The way parents treat their children help shape a major part of their personalities. Similarly, the problems that kids have with their behaviors have connections that run back to their parents. Words, affirmations, adulation and criticism can all affect a child deeply in his or her formative years. There are many psychological problems in children that reeks of bad parenting.
1. Inability To Unwind
Children like to play around and be goofy. But if parents are constantly telling them to be ‘more serious in life’ or ‘be more grown up’, then kids would start to lose their ability to relax and be themselves. They will constantly be under the pressure of being ‘well-mannered’. They will grow up to become people who are constantly seeking validation from others for their behavior. This is the kind of harm that parents can do to their children when they are constantly asking them to behave. Such kids end up losing their sense of self eventually and start seeking that from others constantly.
Parents who are always critiquing their children and their behaviors have no idea the amount of damage they are doing to them. Such children grow up with great amount of self-doubt because they are constantly made to feel by their parents that they are not good enough. Parents don’t realize that every harsh comment made during formative years will leave behind a residual effect in the psyche of a child. These accumulate to produce a much bigger effect later. This can produce issues which can run much deeper. So, avoid critiquing your child and learn to appreciate their quirkiness and their individuality.
3. Severe Trust Issues
Parents often tell their children to be safe from ‘stranger danger’ to safeguard them from many impending threats. But there are many parents who like to pass their trust issues on to their children by constantly telling them about their ‘bad experiences’ and their inability to trust people. Parents need to recognize their issues and learn to work on them, instead of callously passing them on to their impressionable children. Trust issues can lead to many problems in a relationship and can even lead to the destruction of a relationship. So, be mindful of what you say in front of your children.
4. Low Self-Esteem
Good parents appreciate the uniqueness of their children, whereas bad parents like to compare them to other children whom they deem to be ‘better’. This horrible cycle of comparison can leave children with low self-esteem. Constant comparison and critiquing can give rise to inferiority complex in children that will continue to affect them even as adults. They will grow up to have a severe lack of self-confidence that will stop them from being their best selves in public and in private. Encouragement, on the hand, can do wonders for your kid’s self-confidence.
5. Lack Of Self-Dependence
There are some parents who like to keep their children too close to themselves and never allow them to explore life. Hence, these kids never learn to be independent. They grow up to be immature and irresponsible adults dependent on others for everything. It is important that parents care about their children and keep them safe from dangers. But it is also important that parents let go of their children when it is required so that they can learn valuable life lessons on their own.
Parents need to work on their issues and make sure that they are being responsible for the emotional health of their children as well. Children are the citizens of tomorrow who are going to be shaping the world tomorrow, but parents have a huge role to play today in shaping them.