Remember all the disagreements you used to have with your parents when you were a teen? Sometimes it gets better when you grow older and sometimes it goes even more downhill. It’s hard to change your parents’ point of view as they grow older, causing many rifts between children and elderly parents as time passes by. It becomes even more difficult if they have trouble remembering stuff as time passes. Here are some simple tips that could help you out in this department. Try these out and see if this makes your relationship with your parents much smoother.
1. Let Them Be
This is rule number one. Old people are set in their own ways; the more you try to change them, the more distant they will become. Just because you are an adult now doesn’t give you the right to lecture them; they are still your parents. Most often than not, talking with compassion does the trick. Forcing them to alter something is never going to get you anywhere for sure.
2. Don’t Wait For It To Get Easier
If your parents have the unique talent to drive you up the wall, chances are that they will always be able to do it. The key is to not give them the power to aggravate you. Don’t wait for things to get easier- they never might. The best you can do is to stay calm and not let them mess with your head.
3. Understand That You Are Not At Fault
If you are trying your best to deal with your parents and they are not reciprocating with the same enthusiasm, then know that it is not your fault. You might even face a lot of criticism if you live with an old parent regarding the live choices you have made. Guilt is not really going to help. Just realize that this the way things are going to be and make your peace with it. Thinking that it’s your fault is not going to do you or your parents any good.
4. Avoid Conflict
It’s natural for most of the elders to be dissatisfied in certain ways, which often surfaces as aggression. If you choose to respond to this, the aggression will go up, paving way to conflict. Choose to ignore their jabs, or just shake them off with a smile, and the situation will cool down immediately. Patience is the key my friend.
5. Avoid Arguments
Yes, there will be many situations when all you want to do is talk back to them. It’s only natural for you to argue with your parents. But as they age, it is much easier to let go of your anger and avoid arguments as much as possible. Just think of them as a pair of wrinkly, weak toddlers who need a lot of love and care.
6. Don’t Feel Sorry For Them
The last thing they want from you is your sympathy. Everyone grows old- it is a perfectly natural phenomenon. Try to relate to them instead of feeling sorry for them. Give them all the compassion in the world- that’s the best gift you can ever give them. Give yourself a kick in your shin every time you feel pity on your parents.
7. Be The Rock They Have Always Wanted You To Be
Be what they have always wanted you to be. Don’t go and complain to them about your life problems- learn to deal with them alone. The knowledge that you are facing trouble in life can only unsettle them and make them more dissatisfied with their lives. They did it once, and now it’s your turn to fly solo and take care of your parents.
8. Forgive And Forget
It is necessary that you don’t hold on to grudges. Forgive all the things your parents or grandparents have done to you. Be the bigger person and let go of all the things that have hurt you in the past. Waiting for tomorrow might be too late. Take a long walk, count till ten in your head, do anything that would help you to stay calm.
9. Make Them Laugh
Laughter is an important factor that makes it easier to deal with elderly parents. Joke around with them, do things that they love doing, goof around in front of them, make them laugh out loud. It is much easier to deal with them when they are in good spirits. The best way to do this is by making them interact more with children and pets.