It doesn’t matter how old we get, sometimes we can hold onto a thought long past its expiry date. The reasons we might be fixated on something or someone can be vastly different. It could be a beautiful relationship that ended, an insult someone made about us, a word of criticism from our boss. Whatever the cause, the effect is usually similar for everyone. No matter what we’re doing, we always have the thought in the back of our heads. We have difficulty focusing on a task at hand and before we realize it, most of our actions seem to be towards proving that person wrong. This attitude is extremely harmful for our peace of mind, so learn how to refocus again.
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1. Keep Yourself At A Distance
This goes without saying, but if you know someone who often says hurtful things that stick on in your mind, then you need to get away from them. Even if you don’t have an option but to see them everyday, make sure your interactions are limited to the bare minimum. The first step to getting something out of your head is to ensure that nothing more piles up.
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2. Identify The Problem
How often have you heard that the first step to treating something is acknowledging it exists? Pushing an intrusive thought to the back of your mind is not going to get rid of it. Sooner or later, it’s going to push its way to the front again and disturb you. To start your healing problem, identify what the nagging thought in your mind is. As uncomfortable as it may be to confront it, it’s essential you do.
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3. Understand Why It Bothers You
Now that you know what your problem is, understand why it’s a problem in the first place. Did the way your partner end the relationship really hurt you? Why did a certain remark someone made affect you as deeply as it did? If it helps, you could also write down everything about a particular episode that bothered you in an effort to understand it better.
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4. Stop Replaying Things In Your Mind
Often times, the reason why we can’t get someone out of our head is because we won’t stop thinking about a particular incident. Stop trying to validate your side of it, to assign blame to the other person and to let your thoughts fester. Every time you find yourself thinking about it, stop and force yourself to divert onto something else. The more number of times you consciously stop yourself from thinking about it, the easier it will be to let go of the person involved.
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5. Don’t Try To Reason With Yourself
In the middle of preparing lunch or getting ready for a shower, we might find ourselves trying to reason why a person did what they did. Force yourself to realize that you can never accurately interpret another person’s thoughts and so there’s no point trying. This will help you stop turning it over in your mind so much.
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6. Purge Your Home
Are there objects you have lying around your house that immediately remind you of someone you’re desperately trying to forget? They might have a lot of sentimental value, but it’s time you rolled up your sleeves and threw them out. Holding onto things you associate with certain people will always hold you back in your fight to forget them.
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7. Delete Them From Your Life
Do you really want to keep seeing everything they’re up to on social media? Whatever morbid curiosity you have about keeping up to date with someone’s life needs to stop immediately. Whomever it is that you’re trying to push out of your mind, seeing them everyday on social media is only going to make it more difficult for you. It might feel difficult to delete their number and unfriend them, but the effort will be well worth it.
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8. Keep Yourself Busy
If you keep yourself busy with something, you won’t have time to obsess over a person or incident. This doesn’t necessarily mean you should start punching in 12 hour workdays. Try to find something to do after work that really enriches your life and fills you with positivity. Whether you choose a creative writing workshop or a yoga class, if it makes you a happier person, sign up for it.
